Reflecting Again

In early June, I decided to take a break after writing weekly Reflections for more than two years. First, I took a month off.  It felt good to have one less deadline, but I missed connecting regularly with my virtual community of wellbuddies.  In July, I began to re-publish past issues from summer 2009, and have been gratified by your warm response.  I expect to resume a regular writing schedule in the fall.  Meanwhile, it feels good to be back in contact!    

July 19, 2009 Re-run:  Energy and the Heart 

Emotional energy governs the movement of our heart toward and away from our fellows. It sizes up the other, and determines in an instant whether they are friend or foe. Approach, Engage. Retreat. Fight, flee....or embrace.

All dimensions of energy are influenced by our thoughts. We noted in another discussion that even the restful sleep required for physical energy can be derailed or improved by events in the mind. Emotional energy is likewise enhanced when we pay attention to our thoughts about others and take responsibility for the direction and expression of our thinking.

Blame, anger, judgment, and the struggle for control arise from thoughts that sap the flow of energy and stop the power of engagement in its tracks. Acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness, and cooperation are expressed in thoughts that free the heart to join another in work and play on the common ground of humanness.

A few days ago, I was impressed by a conversation in the locker room among a group of women whose grievances over household appliances appeared bottomless. I hurried to dress and escape as soon as I could. I felt my love for life ebbing away with tales of faulty refrigerators and microwave ovens. It was such a relief to walk outside and celebrate the day by re-calibrating the contents of my mind.

If a rant about stoves and garbage disposals can strike such a discordant note, how much more does our energy suffer from harsh thoughts about people? Whether we dwell on the aggressive actions of nations around the globe, or the annoying habits of those who are nearest and dearest, a catalog of grievances is not the kind of reading that ignites a positive flame.

The habit of setting aside the critical thought, diverting the destructive conversation, replacing judgment with benefit of the doubt, takes awareness and commitment. The rewards in emotional energy are worth the effort. Emotional energy enables us to embrace the other and to enjoy the differences that, together, add up to a whole greater than any individual on his or her own.

Think for a moment about one of your most challenging "others." What about them can you find to appreciate? How would you interpret their shortcomings with more kindness and understanding? Is there a way you might reach out, connect, and heal? Watch to see whether your inner energy improves with those efforts. I encourage you to share your experience.