Food for Thought
Compiled by Shane Drew 
  
February, 2011 - Vol 21, Issue 2
In This Issue
Spending a penny...
iPhone app for parking
A little Crazy
Epic Fails
A quote to remember
Finally
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Greetings!
Welcome to the February 2011 edition of Food for Thought.

 

What a year it has been so far.

 

One client rang and told me he suspects I'm the one to blame for the inclement weather.

 

The fact I was in New Zealand during their worst weather in a generation, and that I stayed home over the holiday break when Brisbane had its worse floods since 1974, put me in the frame as far as he was concerned.

 

Fortunately I was not in Northern Queensland when the two cyclones came through or I may have started thinking the same thing myself.

 

Ironically though, my wife and I had discussed going  to Cairns for a short break. Suffice to say, that break in well and truly on hold.

 

I'm sure I don't have to explain the catastrophe that the Category 5 cyclone will have on our economy, both in the immediate and longer term. The area provides 85% of our Banana's for a start. Not to mention the huge sugar plantations in that area.

 

My wife has family in those parts, and it was a relief of sorts when the cyclone passed over the smaller communities rather than the bigger cities.

 

Tully copped the main force of the tempest and is famous for being the wettest place in Australia. Its probably also going to be known for its attraction to cyclones, given it has been in the path of several over the years.  

 

So, having lost a vast swathe of our tropical crops, plus the Lockyer Valley, known as our 'food bowl' , having been devastated a few weeks before in the Brisbane floods, I think we'll all be in for a rude shock at the checkout in the coming weeks. 

 

Sadly, Brazil has seen its fair share of sadness this month too, and America and Europe are also struggling with their own weather issues.

 

When we face some of lifes challenges, it pays to reflect on others around the world to realise that here in Australia we really are very fortunate, no matter how bad it seems at the time.. 

 

 
Spending a penny can be fun.. for blokes at least...

Only in Japan?

 

The clever Japanese have toilets already famous for features such as posterior shower jets and perfume bursts have gone even more hi-tech with entertainment company Sega installing urine-controlled games in Tokyo urinals.

 

Four types of "Toylets'' games are available at four male facilities in pubs and game arcades, in a test project aimed at drawing attention to digital ads.

 

Each urinal is fitted with a pressure sensor and an eye-level digital display, with ads shown after the games are played.

 

This is serious stuff. I'm not making it up.

 

Games include Graffiti Eraser in which a user tries to aim at the pressure sensor and erase virtual graffiti on the display.

 

Then there's Mannekin Pis, which measures the volume of the user's stream, and The North Wind and The Sun and Me, in which the strength of a urine stream determines the extent to which a virtual girl's skirt gets blown up by a digital wind.

 

Splashing Battle! pits the user against the previous urinal user in terms of stream strength.

 

First-time visitors to Japan are often baffled by the complexity of Japanese hi-tech toilets, which feature computerised control panels, usually with Japanese language instructions as well as pictograms.

 

A Sega spokesman said the company had "no concrete plans to make them into actual products''.

 

[source news.com.au]

 
iPhone app to save us tickets...
 

Massive parking fines inspired Joseph Darling to create an iPhone app that lets users warn each other when parking officers are spotted lurking near their cars.

 

"The idea was pretty much born out of frustration," said the australian behind the idea. 

 

ParkPatrol is the app developed by his Sydney-based firm to help users avoid tickets that cost what he said was at least $82 Australian ($81) a shot -- and often more.

 

"I could show you a list of maybe 20 to 30 parking tickets that I had last year, in my town, just by being a normal driver. I must have spent thousands of dollars."

 

The final straw came when he was ticketed in his own neighborhood despite a parking permit that he pays hundreds of dollars for each year.

 

The app lets users "sign in" and report sightings of parking officers with a single push of a button. Cartoon faces wearing a police cap then appear plotted on a map of the area, along with a notice thanking them.

 

The app will also alert users if a parking officer is spotted in their area and how close. Notification options for 500 meters (1,640 ft), 200 meters and 100 meters are available.

 

The free app is available in English, German, Spanish, Portuguese and French. Roughly 80 percent of users are in Australia, but it is also used in England, Spain, France and Germany, Darling said.

 

"With an active community, it's pretty accurate. We reckon around 90 percent," he added.

 

Future versions, currently being finished, will include an alert function for when parking time has expired.

 

The company is also finalizing an Android version.

 

Next on the drawing board? A similar app that allows you to report sightings of handsome men.

 

Can someone explain to me why I'd want to report sightings of handsome men?
 

(Reuters)

A little crazy, and more than a little stupid..

 

How far would you go to win a new car? A Radio station in Germany posed that question to listeners, promising a new car if they did something really crazy... or perhaps that should be stupid.

 

That is when Andreas Muller decided to enter the competition.

 

The crazy German, and that is 'crazy' in every definition of the word, decided to have a rather painful tattoo in his bid to win a �20,000 Mini Cooper.
 

The brief: whoever pulled the craziest stunt to get the car would win.
 

Unsurprisingly, Muller's offer to have the car manufacturer's name branded on to his 'manhood' topped the list of crazy suggestions.
 

'There were a lot of crazy stunts put forward by listeners, but Andreas won easily.
 

Radio listeners were then treated to Muller's cries of agony while the unique piece of branding was created.

 

Muller claims the pain was worth it, saying: 'Once I'm sitting in the car, it won't matter anymore. Then the pain will be gone and it'll be all right.'
 

It has not been reported whether or not Mr Muller has a girlfriend.

 

The tattooist was no doubt pleased he only had to spell 'Mini' and not 'Volkswagen' for reasons I don't think we need to go into here.

 

There is no truth to the rumour that his voice has changed pitch either. Muller claims he always talks high falsetto when he is in pain. 
 

[Source]
'Epic Fail' predictions....
  

"It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister." - Margaret Thatcher, October 26th, 1969.

 

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

 

 "That virus [HIV] is a pussycat." Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, 1988,


"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." - Associates of Edwin L. Drake refusing his suggestion to drill for oil in 1859.


"A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth's atmosphere." - New York Times, 1936.


"Reagan doesn't have that presidential look." - United Artists Executive, rejecting Reagan as lead in 1964 film The Best Man


"The singer [Mick Jagger] will have to go; the BBC won't like him." - First Rolling Stones manager Eric Easton to his partner after watching them perform.


"Rail travel at high speed is not possible because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia." - Dr Dionysys Larder (1793-1859)


"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, 1895.


"There will never be a bigger plane built." - A Boeing engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that holds ten people.


"Taking the best left-handed pitcher in baseball and converting him into a right fielder is one of the dumbest things I ever heard." - Tris Speaker, baseball hall of famer, talking about Babe Ruth, 1919.


"Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality." - Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.


"If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one." - W.C. Heuper, National Cancer Institute, 1954.


"You better get secretarial work or get married." - Emmeline Snively, advising would-be model Marilyn Monroe in 1944.


"Read my lips: No new taxes." - George Bush, 1988.


"I can not imagine why anyone would want to own a peronal computer" - 1978 Ken Olsen, founder and CEO of at the time the huge Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC)


"Everything that can be invented has been invented" - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899


"640K ought to be enough for anybody" - Bill Gates, Chairman, Microsoft, 1981


"The [atomic] bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." Admiral William Leahy, Manhattan Project, 1943 


"Can't act,can't sing. Can dance a little." -studio memo about Fred Astaire


"who the hell wants to hear actors talk" - H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927


"Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years." -- Alex Lewyt, president of vacuum cleaner company Lewyt Corp., in the New York Times in 1955.


"The cinema is little more than a fad. It's canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage." -- Charlie Chaplin, actor, producer, director, and studio founder, 1916


"The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty - a fad." - The president of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford's lawyer, Horace Rackham, not to invest in the Ford Motor Co., 1903


"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." - A memo at Western Union, 1878 (or 1876).


"X-rays will prove to be a hoax." - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1883.


"I must confess that my imagination refuses to see any sort of submarine doing anything but suffocating its crew and floundering at sea." - HG Wells, British novelist, in 1901.


"The world potential market for copying machines is 5000 at most." - IBM, to the eventual founders of Xerox, saying the photocopier had no market large enough to justify production, 1959.


"The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous." - Comment of Aide-de-camp to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916.


"[Television] won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." - Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946.


"When the Paris Exhibition [of 1878] closes, electric light will close with it and no more will be heard of it." - Oxford professor Erasmus Wilson

 

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to no one in particular?" - Associates of David Sarnoff responding to the latter's call for investment in the radio in 1921. 

A quote to remember
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. -  Bill Cosby
Finally...
That's about all for this edition.

I sincerely hope all is well for you, wherever you are.

One of my clients suggested it has to get better because it 'sure as hell can't any worse!'

I'd like to think he is right, but I'm not really so sure.
 
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Until next time, take care

Shane Drew

3M Accredited Applicator - Silver Level, Certificate Number AUS1028
 
Shane Drew
Drews Sign It Pty Ltd
4 William Street
Waterford West  Q  4133