The Art of Raising Childern
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In the New Testament, two words describe the function of parents: teaching and training. With teaching, the focus is on words: verbal admonition. On the other hand, training has to do with actions. These two must always go together. One of the mistakes often made by contemporary parents is that we use one without the other.
If our emphasis is on words, we say, "Let's talk about this." Our belief is that if the child understands, then he will obey. On the other hand, the action oriented parents says, "Do what I say. We'll talk about it later." Often, later never comes. How much better if we learn to explain both what is expected and the results if they don't obey. Words and actions are a winning combination.
Teach Your Children to Love God
In our society child abuse is at an all-time high. Screaming matches between parents and children are common in thousands of homes. A part of the problem is that parents and children are strangers. The instruction that God gave ancient Israel in Deut. 6:7 is still timely. God said that we are to teach our children His instructions when we "sit around the house and when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up."
A bible story and prayer as the children go to bed; a brief devotional and prayer at the breakfast table; exploring God's creation as we take walks with our children; discussing the day and listening to our children's questions as we "sit around the house". You cannot improve on God's plan.
Be Positive and Encouraging
Do you write letters to your children? Here's part of a letter I wrote to my son after he played poorly in a basketball game. Dear Derek: I know that last night's game was a disappointment to you. Anytime we don't perform up to the level we know we can, it is discouraging. I was thinking about biblical characters that also had set-backs: Joseph, David, and Peter when he denied Christ. But they all went on to be great men of God.
I know you are not a quitter, but I wanted you to know that I understand your discouragement. I love you very much and I'm proud of you no matter how you play. You have character and that is what really counts - in playing ball and in life!! Love, Dad
Do you have a child who needs a letter?
Encourage Creativity
Creativity is a gift of God. All children are creative because they are made in God's image. In our efforts to teach children, we sometimes stifle creativity in favor of conformity. Creativity is the wonderful gift of thinking outside the lines. It is our creativity that allows us to develop the uniqueness implanted within each of us.
Dr. Howard Hendricks tells the story of a child who drew flowers with faces. The teacher said, "Johnny, flowers don't have faces." Johnny replied. "Mine do!" Johnny's creativity is still alive, but if his teacher succeeds, his flowers will eventually look like everyone else's flowers. To stifle creativity is to make children look like cookies rather than snowflakes.
Be a Role Model
Socrates said, "If I could get to the highest place in Athens, I would lift up my voice and say: 'What mean ye, fellow citizens, that ye turn every stone to scrape wealth together, and take so little care of your children, to whom ye must one day relinquish all?'" In my personal study of anthropology, I have never observed a culture where parents are not expected to provide children with guidance.
Our greatest method of teaching is our model. May I ask you a sobering question? What if your children turn out to be just like you? If you would not be happy with that, then what do you need to change? Why not begin that change today? God is available to help, and so are your friends.
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