Welcome new subscribers and old friends for this Valentine's month!
What 's Love Got to do with It?
(can't you just hear Tina Turner?)
In this month's newsletter:
- Self-love and peak performance
- Why do I need self-love?
- When will I know I have it?
I help talented and smart clients who know they are underperforming. They possess a deep passion that must be realized, the talent to do so, and self beliefs and emotions that just plain get in the way.
Power lies in Aligning Your Heart and Head
"Get your head in the game!" screams the coach, as his star tennis player double faults on match point. It's true - you do need your head in the game! You need the mental toughness and clarity to stay present through every stroke in a competitive tennis match. And your physical fitness level must be top notch. Coaches, music instructors, and trainers are all excellent at getting you in shape for your performance. But often what's forgotten in training is emotional management - the HEART of the performance.
I'm talking about the performer's emotions about themselves before they ever step foot into their performance arena. The root system of mental/emotional poise; calm and confident performance, is the performer's sense of self - that "I'm good!" feeling.
Sounds like a small matter, perhaps, compared to raw talent, tons of practice, and pure grit - but in 24 years of working with individuals, no matter how high their ranks, the #1 "enemy" is
"I'm not good enough." It lurks in the subconscious like a poison; infiltrating every stroke, sentence, melody. It's the powerful, subtle force that rips the player from their most inspired, awesome performance - and their most exquisite joy of accomplishment.
Consider how important it is ...
to move from, "I'm not good enough" to into your heart when you're playing a round of golf. In The Spirit of Golf, Feb.2011 edition, the author writes:
"The only reason we want to hit good golf shots is that we think we will feel better when we hit them. That seems to make enough sense. The problem comes, however, when we ignore the behind-the-scenes energy that it takes to see the shots unfold. If we don't feel good along the way, there can be no good shots to experience. In other words, a mind that is full of frustration, anxiety, anger and doubt is not going to be able to set into motion an energy that can crystallize into positive results."
As this speaks of a mind that's full of these negative emotions, consider this:
The heart produces the largest rhythmic electromagnetic field of any of the body's organs. Its electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain and its magnetic field is 5,000 times greater! In truth, the most powerful source of our inner power lies in the heart and in our ability to experience and manage our emotions. -- From the Institute of HeartMath
The heart's magnetic field - some unresolved emotional component of fear or self-doubt or some little old memory of things going south - keeps the system from delivering the most powerful performance. Once the emotional component is brought into clarity, the heart and brain come into alignment and there is no stopping the force of that talent, insight, even brilliance.
My advice to you? Go out of your mind! And check your heart. Then get them aligned. Think how powerful you will be when you've got both those energy forces going in the same direction! You can learn more about aligning the heart and head and the importance of the heart in maximizing your performance.
Why do I need Self-Love?
- Does your talent far exceed your performance?
- Are you losing confidence in your ability to play your best consistently?
- Do you hesitate because you're afraid of making a mistake?
- Are you choking in pressure situations?
- Are you so stuck on perfection that you beat yourself up when you make a mistake?
People who've done EFT with me for any concern know the power of this method by adding doses of compassion, forgiveness and self-love. It does wonders for catapulting the performance results for athletes, musicians, and public speakers.
One of the main tools of my EFT work with clients is the use of love. What the heck do I mean?
It means transforming:
- the negativity of backlash for mistakes
- the impossibility of unreachable expectations and standards
- the vision of true success
It means infiltrating our systems (thought, feeling, physiology) with:
- ~ did I mention compassion?
You can tune into my recent interview, "What's Love Got to Do With It?" with EFT practitioner, Alina Frank. We talk about how I use EFT with athletes and musicians to create their best performance.
|How will I know when I have it?|
I've been in the muck of performance anxiety and I'm still a work in progress! I used to tremble and hide in the choir loft when performing vocal solos. When asked to sing for funerals or weddings, my first response was dread for the anxiety I'd have to endure. Yet I wanted to sing.
Through EFT work, I can gladly report that the dread's been replaced. I'm accepting invitations to sing with excitement. I just sang three times last weekend - one very fun time with a jazz band at the Brown Palace Hotel! I can finally share my passion and ENJOY a good performance. It's a very deeply satisfying gift of freedom - one I love to help my talented clients achieve.
TRY THESE FIRST STEPS:
- Write down 3 fears or concerns that arise when you think of a specific performance goal you have in mind.
- Rate the intensity of the fear/concern on a 1-10 level.
- Notice carefully your body when you focus on this fear/concern - where can you feel the tension?
- Then apply EFT and use doses of love, compassion, and kindness.
|EFT protocol: Try a little self-love
Even though I'm worried about ...
Go to Bernadette's blog to find EFT tapping protocols.
Like me, you will know you have the self-love that brings optimal performance results when:
- You are playing (whether sports, music, speaking...) Full Out!
- You're enjoying more: wins, quality, self-satisfaction, audience feedback - and most importantly,
- When you're feeling GREAT about what you did and what is to come!
Valentine's Day isn't just February 14!
You'll know you're in your heart by the feeling of authentic alignment of your talent with your performance. What a gift to yourself and the world!
Wishing you powerful performances!
Bernadette Hunter, MS, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and EFT
Performance Specialist with over two decades of experience.
Bernadette works with athletes, musicians, performing artists, public speakers, and individuals.
She is the founder of
You can reach her at 303-300-6733 or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
"Learn to control your emotions or they will control you."
"Competition is won or lost on the 6-inch playing field between the ears."
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