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The Art of Acknowledgment
Exclusive for the Coach Darcy Community
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| Greetings! | 
The other day, someone I hardly knew said something profoundly kind to me. She wasn't trying to impress me, or get me to do anything--it just came out in everyday conversation.
Her comment really meant a lot to me. While I tried to express my appreciation in the moment, I am sure she won't know how big her little words were.
What is it about compliments, appreciation, or just plain ole acknowledgment? Let's face it--we all want some! And yet, there never seems to be enough, especially in those random, agenda-free moments like I experienced.
So with great thanks to this person--whose kindness and comment will remain unnamed lest we both blush uncontrollably--I'm sharing my thoughts on how we can add a little more acknowledgment and appreciation to our lives at home and at work.
My heartfelt acknowledgment goes to you, the members of the Coach Darcy Community, for your support, involvement, and ongoing ideas that motivate me each day! You're the best!
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| The Art of Acknowledgment |
 One of my clients said of her boss, "Just once, I'd like to hear her tell me what's good about my work, instead of pointing out everything I didn't do."
Sound familiar? Which brain cell warped to make it so much easier to notice--and talk about--the bad stuff, while ignoring all the good that surrounds us? The fascinating thing about my client's comment is that her boss has told me she thinks this person's work is great! So why do I know this--and the person involved doesn't?
Welcome to the art of acknowledgment. Like much art in our society, this art is at high risk of not being taught, practiced, and valued in our criticize-'em-now culture. That has to change.
Acknowledgment is one of the secret ingredients to motivating human behavior. I think its lack is one reason our workplaces and lives start to be lack-luster. Since we need everything we do to shine more than ever, it's time to relearn this simple skill.
Here are three ideas how you can fill your canvas at work and home with the art of acknowledgment:
1. Paint the Picture of What You See. Sometimes we struggle to acknowledge others because the work isn't done, or wasn't successful. We tell ourselves we don't want to reinforce effort--we want results!
Pflooey. It's the effort that gets results. Painting the picture for someone else of the steps you are seeing them take toward a goal can be very powerful and affirming--even if the goal hasn't been met yet.
I often say that in our jobs, we make it look easy to the outside world. If you are savvy enough to notice the good things others are doing in their jobs, then tell them you notice! Your observations and point of view are just yours, and as such, they're always valid.
Here's an example; "Hey Tom, I noticed you spent extra time with the new hire as we started on our project. That was really smart--nobody else thought of that. I'm sure it was helpful to him, too, and I just wanted you to know I noticed."
What do you see someone else doing that could be acknowledged? Paint the picture for them.
2. Create a Space for Appreciation. Contrary to what the wrinkle-cream ads want us to think, time is actually our friend. We all are given the same amount each day, and we have the ability to choose what we do with it!
An easy choice is to create a space in your next meeting, conversation, or interaction to recognize someone, to express appreciation, or to acknowledge a kindness.
Think you don't have enough time to create space for appreciation? Well, how long does it take to say:
- 'Before we launch into today's agenda, I wanted to thank the IT team for all they did to help us move ahead. . . "
- "Honey, before we review the household budget, I just want to say how proud I am of us that we've been able to reduce our credit card debt so much this year. Yea us!"
3. Just Say Thank You (Really). For some people, the words "thank you" have become a little like "have a nice day"--empty of any true meaning or sincerity. In fact, one client told me that when his boss said "thank you," he means "you can go now." Ouch.
That doesn't have to be you. You can try a different tact. The next time you are ready to say "thank you" to someone, look him or her in the eyes and say the words "Thank you." Then, while still looking at them, say to yourself, "Really." Really.
Why does this work? The pause it takes you to think "really" creates a beat, a moment. That moment keeps you present and aware of what you are expressing. It also creates a moment for the thanked person to soak it in--and believe what you say.
Of course, if you really want your words to count, make them more permanent and jot a note. The thank-you note is not passe! Buy an inexpensive set of notecards at your local drugstore and take 90 seconds to write to someone you appreciate--even if you see them every day. Unlike email, physical notes still get read, saved, and remembered. After all, like acknowledgment itself, it's an art.
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| Need to Explode Your Value? Try This Session! | | One of my favorite topics to speak on is "Communicating Your Value in the Workplace." I'm convinced that our world needs everything each of us can bring--yet for some reason, we're capping ourselves instead of shaking ourselves up and exploding!
 That's why I created the Value Explosion Strategy Session. It's a 90-minute, hands-on work session focusing on your key areas where your value needs to shine. In this session, we create practical actions you can take to better understand, communicate and use your value to create results!
Right now, the Value Explosion Strategy Session is only being offered to members of my Community to give you the chance to really generate the value you can bring! Your investment is $350, which includes tools and plans you can use, plus my money-back guarantee if you're not happy for any reason.
If you'd like to learn more or get yours scheduled today, contact us. I can't wait to watch your value explode! KA-BOOM! |
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Now that you have new tools to create your own art of acknowledgment, where will you start? Your colleague? Your boss? Your neighbor? It doesn't really matter where you start, as long as you do! I always love to hear your reactions to these articles and your stories about what's worked for you--and what hasn't! You can email me here.
Thank you (really, really, really!) for reading this newsletter and for being part of the Coach Darcy Community. You are a constant inspiration to me and my work, and for that, I'm extremely grateful!
Always,
Darcy Eikenberg, ACC
Coach Darcy LLC
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energetic, engaged audience of public relations pros at the 
(That's me and conference co-chair Jessica Riley, left.) Loved the live tweeting of tips and from my talk "Communicating Your Value While You're Communicating Everything Else."
