"We did the best we could." 

As reported in earlier editions of this newsletter, the International Women's Leadership Conference held in September brought us inspiration from around the globe in the form of amazing women leaders.  As fascinated as I was with the speakers, I have to admit that I was greatly relieved when one of them was moved to the afternoon session, which I was not attending.

I knew that Dr. Heidi Kraft had won acclaim for accounts of her experiences as a clinical psychologist serving in Iraq. I just didn't think I could stand to hear them. Instead of staying to hear her address the audience, I purchased her book, Rule Number Two, Lessons I Learned in a Combat Hospital, in the lobby and took it home with me.  Even in the privacy of my own home, I avoided picking up the book for a whole week. It's been more than thirty years since I worked with an outreach program for returning Vietnam vets, but somehow the years seem to fade away when I hear stories about recent combat experiences.  I didn't want to go there again.

Curiosity finally overcame fear and once I opened the book, I couldn't stop reading it. Before I had finished the forward and preface, I was in tears. By the time I finished the book, I was laughing out loud and smiling.  Heidi has done a beautiful job of capturing the otherworldly nightmare of deployment in a combat zone and infusing it with charm that the individual experience brings.

One particularly poignant story was of a reserve unit, many of whom had served together for twenty years.  The loss of a young member of their team was devastating. The medical team could do nothing to save the young man. Leaving the survivors to mourn their loss together, Heidi was struck by the words that one of them was repeating over and over. "We did the best we could." She found herself "strangely comforted" by his words.  I found myself thinking that I could wish nothing better for those who survive combat, but to be able to actually believe those words, "we did the best we could" and move on with the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, it will not actually be that straightforward for a lot of people. Their process will take time and will be characterized by periods of doubt and disillusionment before they find a kind of peace beyond the tragedy.