Greetings!
Wow. A lot of stuff happening today!
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| Intel announces 63 bit Processors |
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| Better than 32 bit, almost as good as 64.
Intel Corporation announced a new series of servers based on a unique 63 bit platform. Immediately concernes were raised about the drop in performance from the standard 64-bit platform. In a press release a spokesman commented on this saying "Yes, these systems will be a bit slower."
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| MS Doors 1.0 announced |
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New Platform offers
Microsoft announced a new companion to their Windows products, Digital Online Optical Readers, or Doors 1.0. Doors will "Make it easier for end users to enter and exit Online communities," said MS Spokesman V. Morrison.
This product, which will include Kinetic Neutral Override Binary Systems (KNOBS) for easier acess. |
| New Pronunciation of "SQL" has database market uneasy |
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An agreement between IBM (who, in a love for spelling out TLA's, or Three Letter Acronyms) and Microsoft (who, really, just doesn't like "IBM") came to a conclusion last week. IBM, who pronounced the Structured Query Language by spelling out the Letters "EssQueu-Ell" and Microsoft, who pretends that vowels were magically added by calling it "Sequel."
Both parties compromised, and from now on, anyone referencing database access should use the term "Squeal."
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| Mayan Apocolypse date really Windows 8 release date |
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| December 21, 2012
In a stunning update, archeologist Steve Kulkulcan announced a new reading of the traditional Mayan calendar. Mayans, a civilization that disappeared off the face of the Earth around 1000AD, have actually been waiting for the release of Windows version 8. When that version is released, Dr. Kulkulcan relates, "they'll be back. As to whether that will coincide with the end of the world, that depends on how many device manufacturers include drivers with the OS."
Apple supporter Francis Ford Quetzalcoati added "If the Mayans went with MacIntosh's, they could have their Apocalypse Now." |
| Write Only Memory. Secure your Data! |
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For totally secure data storage.
For more information, click here. |
| NSecurity announces Printer/Shredder |
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Security Device aimed at paranoid
For more information, click here.
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