Ladies,

Last week, I shared what God had revealed to me through the Fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. I had read this passage many times over the last several years; however, now I was reading specifically from the perspective of a wife. This time I saw it as a description of characteristics I should be displaying with my husband.

I am embarrassed to say that I was doing a much greater job displaying love, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control with everyone - except my husband! My co-workers and church friends saw these characteristics more often than my husband.

As I read more in the Bible about God's intention for marriage, I continued to pray for wisdom and He faithfully granted it to me. As I read Genesis 2:14, I began to understand more of God's heart around marriage. It says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh".

This spoke volumes to me. The word "cleave" means to stick or adhere to. So to me, to become "one flesh" with my husband means I don't know where I start and he ends - we're one. There's no longer "me", but us. Two people being graphed together into one.

Flesh does not fight itself. It has a single purpose. It is a soft tissue that covers and protects the bones and vertebrae. So the way I see it as it relates to marriage, anything that is done to one affects the other. If I am doing something to tear, scar or bruise my husband, then I am doing it to "our flesh". What I do to my husband, good or bad, I experience as well.

It comes down to the biblical principle of sowing and reaping. I cannot sow (plant) negative and critical words in my husband's life, and expect to reap (harvest) positive and loving words and actions from him. Debbi Pearl speaks of this concept in great detail in her book Created to be His Help Meet.  In chapter six entitled "The Beginning of Wisdom", she reiterates that according to scripture our actions and reactions are not without consequences. Our choices can bring us to miserable ends. But the good news is that the opposite is true as well!

I was listening to a CD recently of a woman speaking to a group of wives. She asked the question, "Would you want your son's wife to treat him the way you treat your husband"? There was silence.

According to the Bible, God has given wives important instructions on how to treat their husbands.  I learned that if I do these things, I can expect to reap the benefits. If I don't, I can expect to reap the consequences. I'll tell you more in next week's My Journey.