Play Family Bingo
The Holiday Issue                              December 18, 2010 - Vol 1, Issue 7
In This Issue
Stuff that I Want to Share
Happy Holidays!
Dysfunctional Family Bingo
shelley head shot
Shelley C. Wilson, MFT











               










"It is not about trying harder." 
  

















bingo





















  





















  

Stuff That I Want to Share

 

My recommendations are to spread the word about stuff that I think is meaningful, helpful, enjoyable or interesting.


I just finished a great book that was recommended to me and now I am passing on the recommendation.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls is an amazing memoir of resilience in a dysfunctional family. It reads like a novel.  Jeannette brilliantly describes the "parentified" overfunctioning child's perspective; it is just normal life for her 3 year old self to be cooking her own hot dogs.  It is an amazing story of hope and survival and not a depressing read.

Happy Holidays!
    
I wish you the joy of the season. May you find a moment during these holidays in which you are filled with love. If I had a magic wand (still shopping for it), I would give you the gift of holidays filled with doing only "I want to's" instead of "I have to's" or "I should's."  Be your own elf - eliminate a couple of "shoulds" this holiday. 

Read on in order to put some fun in your holiday gatherings.

 
 
Dysfunctional Family Bingo at the Holidays 

 

"You invite inner peace when you stop trying to force yourself to either change your relatives or to think of them as sane."

- Martha Beck 


Everybody has a story about family and the holidays. These tales can be hysterically funny, mortifying, sad, heartwarming, chaotic or any combination of the above. But we all know about the drama created by bringing together a group of people with alot of sugar, carbohydrates, alcohol, presents and tinsel. It can make you want to scream or hide in a corner. At this time of year, I frequently ask myself: "Are these people really my family?"
 
For this holiday dilemma, I am offering you a great coping tool to survive and laugh: Play Dysfunctional Family Bingo.
 
(Full disclosure: I did not invent this game. My beloved mentor, Martha Beck, did and I adapt from her wacky brilliant mind on a regular basis.)

Dysfunctional Family Bingo lets you use your family's unusual, predictable, irritating, embarrassing antics to become a game winner. Here is how you play. You and your friends or your kindred spirit relatives each print a blank bingo card from http://www.mediafire.com/?2pnomks2sgmlo8h

Each of you then fills in the squares on your bingo card with your own family's individual antics which are likely to appear at the holiday gathering. For example, Aunt Harriet gives everyone crocheted tissue box covers in this year's color scheme. Your cousin watches TV all day and does not speak to anyone.  Mom wears the holiday sweatshirt with the glitter and appliques that she bought in the 1980's.  You uncle has too many eggnogs and tells everyone how they should live their lives. Your liberal cousin and your conservative cousin have the same political debate as last year at a very high decibel level. The meal is too salty because grandma insists on cooking and her taste buds are shot. The dog gets into the appetizers and throws up for the rest of the day.  You get the idea.

Bring your bingo card to your holiday gathering and mark off the squares as your family acts up. You can text, call or email your friends as the game progresses. First one to get bingo gets a free lunch at your post holiday debrief session.

Dysfunctional Family Bingo is a survival tool for the holidays - it is fun, creative and helps you name the behavior and identify the stressors. Most importantly, it creates detachment when you are in the midst of the madness.

Remember the computer's conclusion in the movie "War Games" (with Matthew Broderick): "When you play global nuclear war, the only way to win is not to play." Playing Dysfunctional Family Bingo keeps you from playing your family's usual holiday game.

Are we having fun yet?

PS. If you have a functional family, none of this may apply.

 
 

Remember that past newsletters are on my website www.shelleywilson.com
Please let me know if you or someone you know wants some help (other than bingo) with dysfunctional family relationships.  I am always grateful for referrals. 

Give me a call or send an email.
 
Take good care,
 
Shelley
 
Shelley C. Wilson
phone:(949) 922-7800
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Shelley Wilson.  Copyright 2010 Shelley C. Wilson.
 
You may reprint material from this newsletter in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.shelleywilson.com is included in the credits.