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Shelley C. Wilson, MFT |
(949) 922-7800
"It is not about trying harder."
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Wanna play? |
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Stuff That I Want to Share
My recommendations certainly will not impact the market the way that Oprah's do (OK, no one has her impact!) but I do want to pass on information about stuff that I think is meaningful, helpful, enjoyable or interesting.
The Help by Kathryn Stockett is one of the best "reads" ever. It is a novel of heart and hope which will have you cheering out loud. It is a great Book Club pick and the audio book is very well done if you are a car listener like me. Set in early 1960's Mississippi, it is narrated by three women, two black maids and a young white woman from a "good" family, who decide to write about the experience of the black help who work for the white families. Their perspectives are profound and engaging. It immerses you in the social realities of that time and place and you will be touched by the courage, challenges and connections. I was torn between not wanting to put the book down and not wanting it to end. By the way, it is not a "chick lit" book.
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Spring is Here!
In Southern California, the spring grass and flowers are a glorious sight to behold...even the wild lupine with its lovely purple adorning the freeway slopes. This is my favorite time of year - I love the "rebirth" phase of seasons and life. So this is absolutely the right time to launch or "birth" both my Website and my Newsletter. Like all birthing processes, parts of it have been agonizing and parts are joyful. Please check out www.shelleywilson.com Let me know what you think.
My newsletter musings are to be approached like everything else that I offer up: Take what is helpful to you and discard the rest. |
Do you need to go out and play?
"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game."
Michael Jordan
I went to a psychology seminar at UCLA several weekends ago and came away from it feeling extremely validated by scientific research. As many of you know, I "get my stuff" as a therapist from a variety of sources (media, books, celebrities, shopping, academia, etc.) and one of my beloved resources is animals. I believe that animals have a lot to teach us humans (with our gigantic brains) about living happy lives. There it is - I've written it "out loud" and I will now embrace the criticism that I anthropomorphize (attribute human characteristics to a god, animal or inanimate object) on a regular basis.
However, the rats have validated me! Feelings or emotions are not just human characteristics. The researchers have established through the scientific process that animals have feelings (duh!) and that rats laugh. Our problem is that people can't hear the rat laughter without adjusting the hertz level to our hearing range. (An important rat survival skill since we don't want to hear them laughing in our attics!) I watched a video of rats being tickled and heard them laugh. It was great especially when the audience laughed along with the critters during the video. Rat laughter is infectious.
Jaak Panksepp, Phd was courageous by daring to openly tell the scientific community that rats laugh. In honor of his bravery, I will continue to use animals as models for behavior or life, as appropriate and when helpful, and without shame.
Rats are not my favorite rodents (in spite of the influence of the movie "Ratatouille") but they redeem their "ick" factor by sacrificing and teaching us so much about our physical selves. Another part of Dr. Panksepp's research showed that rats and other animals engage in play (especially rough and tumble play) and that there are molecules in the brain ("Luderons") which facilitate play. This is no surprise for anyone who has watched children or animals chase balls or roll in the grass or pounce for the sheer joy of it. Our brains are hardwired for play.
But as adults, we forget the importance of play or we override the impulse or we just don't "find time" for it. Spring is the perfect time to ask yourself "Am I playing?"
Our own Luderons are just waiting, yearning, longing to be called upon so go out and play. Roll down a grassy slope, throw a ball for a kid or canine, skip, swing, swim or ride a bike for fun only. Play like you did as a child or if you missed the play part of childhood, try doing now what you think would have been fun to do then. Be silly. Move your body. Color a picture. Any task (including "work") that feels like play counts.
If this feels really foreign to you, take a small step and watch children or animals at play. The fountain at Fashion Island in Newport Beach that spits up water from holes in the ground (you may have to see it to understand) is a great place to watch youngsters play or try a dog park. The joy is palpable. The next small step would be to think of something that might be fun to do (blowing bubbles?). The next step would be to try it. After that, try something else too.
Remember the proverb: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Playing is not a waste of time. Springtime is calling us to come out and play. Just use your Luderons and laugh like rats!
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I have openings in my practice so I always appreciate referrals if you know where I could be of service. It is sometimes tricky to make a referral to a counselor so I'll coach you a bit. You can say "Sounds like you are going through a rough time. I don't know if this would be right for you, but you might want to call Shelley Wilson. I understand that she is really helpful with relationships and transitions. She sees alot of people who wouldn't normally go to a therapist."
Be sure to ask about my new special package pricing! |
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Take good care,
Shelley
Shelley C. Wilson
phone:(949) 922-7800
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Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Shelley Wilson. Copyright 2010 Shelley C. Wilson.
You may reprint material from this newsletter in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.shelleywilson.com is included in the credits. |
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