Who's Your Boss?

Issue No. 31

July 2011

Who's Your Boss?

When he was little, my younger son had an expression I used to hate.

He would put his hands on his hips and loudly proclaim, "I (emphasis on the I) Am The Boss Of Me!"

The unspoken rest of his story - which I disliked - was "...and You are not."

Time passes, though, and I'm beginning to see some wisdom in this notion of being your own boss. And I don't necessarily mean running your own business. Rather, the wisdom is in being the boss of our own choices and attitudes.

Turns out, the research shows that we have substantial power to become happier and to grow more when we take hold of that power and don't let circumstances or old stories hold sway.

Not a bad thing to be aware of when the temperature outside is 90+ degrees.

Here's to being the boss of you!

Pat

Maximizing The Magic 40%

If only I were only more beautiful.... If only I only had more money.... If only I'd married my true love.... Then, we think, we'd be happy.

Not so, according to research conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

In her book The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting The Life You Want, Dr. Lyubomirsky sees happiness as a three-slice pie. Ten percent comes from circumstances, 50% from the set point you were born with, and 40% from intentional activity.

She recommends getting the most out of that 40% wiggle room by customizing the intentional activity so that it's one that feels natural and enjoyable, not an activity that's driven by guilt or a need to please others.

What's Your Mindset?

How big a role does intelligence play in success? How about talent?

According to Stanford psychology professor Carol Dweck, Ph.D, the way you view those factors can drive your success, or lack of it.

In fact, your perspective on the role of intelligence and talent can create either a success-fatal disease called "fixed mindset," or its healthier opposite, a "growth mindset."

Which do you have? She's developed an online test to let you know and some strategies for shifting from a fixed view to one that will help you grow.

Leash Law No. 31: Long Fingernails

They're great for impersonating a lady of leisure. Enjoy the break. But for more enduring enjoyment, try a massage, manicure, and some clear polish. It's less expensive, more relaxing, and you can still open a beer.

Ths is one of 74 leash laws offered in "The Dog Ate My Planner: Tales and Tips from an Overbooked Life."

In This Issue

The Magic 40%

What's Your Mindset?

Leash Law: Fingernails

The Story Winner

Quick Links

Pat's Website

Dog Journal

Latest Column

AND THE STORY WINNER IS...

Joan Nienkirchen

Last month, Pat solicited your stories of how humor helped you through a difficult time of loss, and you did not disappoint.

Among storytellers was Joan Nienkirchen, a Worthington, OH resident, who submitted a litany of stories about her mom Peg, who died of cancer in 2001. They came in under the clever title "Stories Dying To be Told," which she then struck through and retitled "Dying Stories To Be Told."

The favorite is a "biting" tale you can read about in The Dog Journal .

This and other entries will be shared with participants at Pat's five-day workshop, "Good Grief! Why Am I Laughing At A Time Like This?!" next week at the Chautauqua Institution in Western New York.

For her most memorable entry, Joan will receive a copy of the book Chicken Soup For The Soul: Grieving And Recovery, in which one of Pat's essays appears.