|
"Facilitator Certification Program" |
Click on link above for more information and registration.
Join us for a funfilled, informative two days as we prepare and provide you with materials and insights for your team.
Register Now!
Deadline
for Winter Training
is January 20, 2009.
|
|
"Different Children, Different Needs" |
|
Click on the above link to order this book.
This book gives you a wonderful overview of human behavior while providing insights into working more effectively with children. As you understand your personality, you will more easily identify the child's needs and motivation to work with them in a less stressful way.
| |
|
| Feature Headline |
January 2009
"I'm Failing and I Can't Ask for Help!"
Last week I had a conversation with my son Erik, a junior in high school, about the D+ he was carrying in Pre-Calculus. We are approaching the end of the semester and his grade was not moving. He explained how he can complete the homework from the day's lesson but when it came to test time he chocked. He was unsure on how to solve each problem on the test. Not an uncommon challenge I would suspect. So I replied, "What a bummer, what are you going to do?" I got the typical response, "I don't know." So I asked, "Would you like some suggestions?" Then I paused. No response. So I asked, "When does your teacher offer extra help?" Erik answered, "Tuesdays and Thursdays." I replied, "Great, why don't you go in on Tuesday and explain your situation and ask if he can help you?" At that point his tone changed. I heard a lot of reasons, or excuses, why he couldn't or wouldn't do that. I sensed defensiveness as I tried to overcome each "excuse". I dropped the conversation with, "I hope you can work it out."
Later that evening I went into his room and asked what was really going on. He didn't want to talk about it. I again suggested, to go in and explain where you are having trouble and ask, "Can you help me?" That is where the truth came out. Erik exploded, "I can't say that, I can't say those words!" I responded, "What words? Can you help me?" He barked back, "Yeh, I can't say those words to him!" I'm thinking, "You're kidding, right?" No, he was not kidding.
We have now gotten to the root of the problem. Erik, a high "S" style, like many other high "S" style students, is a quiet kid. He listens, takes notes and doesn't cause any problems. They are like invisible kids. They also have a difficult time communicating until they feel safe and secure. They don't necessarily raise their hands to answer questions and they don't ask for help! As a high D/I style, I thought this was crazy. Why can't you ask for help? I explained that teachers want to help, you just need to ask. Most teachers get more frustrated with students who are struggling and DON'T ask for help!
I shared this conversation with a close friend, who happens to be a high "S", and she confirmed this fear. Even at 46 years of age, she can remember accepting lower grades because she could not or would not speak up.
Our "S" style students may feel uncomfortable or even fearful, to come to you for help. If you see they are struggling, consider going to them, quietly, not in front of their peers, and ask if they would like some help. Let them know when you are available and ask them to come see you. Most kids will accept your invitation, some may not, but you have let them know that you are there to help and support them.
Remember the "S" style needs: Security, Appreciation and Affirmation
Help them feel secure and affirm your care for them by reaching out and asking them if you can help.
|
|
