Basketball is on my mind.  For the first time in 13 years as an educator in independent schools, I am not coaching middle school basketball.  During my time on the hardwood, I coached both boys and girls, worked with fifth graders through ninth graders, and generally experienced all of the highs and lows you can imagine.  One win seasons, one loss seasons, players forgetting uniforms, strategic game-planning, tears shared among and between teammates, long bus rides

complete with ghost stories-all these memories and more are swimming through my mind.

Basketball is also on my mind because this time of the year ESPN always dedicates a week of their television programming to Jim Valvano, legendary coach, commentator, and motivator who died of bone cancer in 1993.  Coach Valvano made four coaching stops during his career, most notably at North Carolina State, where he led the men's team to an improbable national championship in 1983 by way of a last second slam dunk against the University of Houston.  Many recall Coach Valvano running around the court immediately after the game looking for somebody to hug.

Less than two months prior to his death at the age of 47, Coach Valvano received a humanitarian award from ESPN.  While accepting this award, by all accounts he delivered one of the most famous and heartfelt speeches of the recent past.  Without notes-and realizing it may have been his last appearance in the public eye-Coach Valvano urged the audience to do three things each day:

To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

You can listen to the entire 11 minute speech on YouTube (it's worth the 11 minutes, trust me):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuoVM9nm42E

As we travel through the winter months here at Swain, it seems that every day is filled with thought, laughter, and emotion.  Although I am not coaching basketball anymore, my position in the school does allow me to observe and witness the wonderful activities and lessons that are happening from preschool through eighth grade.  Of course, not every class is a class to write home about, but come visit the school on any given day and you are likely to observe some really neat ideas being generated from our classrooms.  As my father - a 35-year English teacher once said - there is no limit to where learning can go when engaged teachers and students get together.

Thought

In mid-November, I visited Mrs. Garton's third grade classroom that was in the process of writing mysteries.  During the lesson, students shared their story boards they had created during a previous class.  The story boards were essentially pieces of heavy stock, oversized paper that were folded into thirds.  Drawings were made in each third to represent the sequence of the story.  While I was there, students thoughtfully discussed how to tell stories, noting that details, clues, and sequencing are crucial elements.  After the discussion, students filled in the details between their scenes, and, in subsequent classes, transferred their thoughts and pictures into words on paper.  This was a great exercise in specifically thinking about the process of writing a mystery, and then breaking it down into manageable pieces that emerging writers can truly understand.

Mrs. Akers applauds Jack's contribution

Just a few days later, I was invited to a publishing party at the Prekindergarten 4 level.  At these presentations, each child had the opportunity to stand in front of the class withthe teacher to present their piece of the class story.  In previous classes, a story was developed among all members of the class, with each child telling a leg of the story.  As you can imagine, the overall story was rather disjointed (and hilarious at that!), but it was a neat exercise for the four-year-old brain in regards to trying to follow a plot, creativity, listening, and presenting.  In addition to verbally telling their own piece of the story, each child also painted their scene on paper.  Great job, Mrs. Glenda Akers and Mrs. Gloria Johnson! 

Laughter

I was recently invited to eat lunch with the second graders for the purpose of helping them develop their conversation skills.  For several days leading up to the lunch appointment, Mrs. Julia Getty, our Wellness Coordinator, worked with the students on "The Art of Conversation."  They talked about listening to what others are saying, responding to their comments (and not necessarily responding with thoughts of your own), taking turns in the conversation, and asking questions.  It was a great exercise for seven- and eight year-old children, because-as anybody with a first-, second-, or third grader can tell you-calmly listening without interruption is a challenge!

Mrs. Skinner and Farah share a moment while Mrs. Getty looks on.

As it turns out, I may not have been the best guest.  Although I tried, three minutes into lunch I found myself having seven conversations at once.  Conversations with second graders can be silly enough, but try having several at once.  I was supposed to be helping them listen, take turns, and respond thoughtfully, yet I found myself swamped in random stories about trains, turkeys, and strange happenings in science class.  Mrs. Getty was not necessarily happy with me, but it was the most fun I have had at lunch this year.  Laughter came over the table for 20 minutes, and I walked away with a grin.  Ears ringing, but glowing nonetheless.

Laughter is a necessary part of school life.  Plain and simple: kids need it, teachers need it, and parents need it.  Research supports laughter as a stress reducer, and there is a reason why laughing clubs are springing up across the world (it's true-Google it).  Our recent pep rally at school was designed to create excitement and fun surrounding our middle school basketball teams.  Led by a few crazy teachers, the crowd of children performed the wave, cheered loudly, and laughed with Paws.  It wasn't math class, but something like a pep rally is a necessary part of a healthy, happy school environment.

Emotion

In an event co-sponsored with our friends from Hillside in late November, child pyschologist Dr. Margaret Sayers visited campus to talk about the all important job of parenting.  Her presentation was titled Mindful (and Common Sense) Parenting, and the focus of the workshop revolved around how to be a mindful and emotionally intelligent parent. 

The workshop was a combination of lecture, discussion, and role play, and as part of the lecture, Dr. Sayers revealed her top 10 essentials to effective parenting.  Things like fostering independence and behavior management were obviously included, but her top three essentials, in this order, were love and affection, stress management (for kids and parents), and building relationship skills, which includes taking care of your own relationships.  

Later in the presentation, Dr. Sayers listed five ideas or methods to destress children, and the list included prioritizing family meals (making time to talk), limiting future talk, and teaching and modeling relaxation techniques.

Among other things, the workshop was a strong reminder that serving the emotional needs of your child(ren) is indeed the most important aspect of parenting.  Listening to your child's relationship struggles, helping them find ways to relax, and simply spending time with them-truly being present in the moment-defines emotional intelligence as a parent.

As 2010 comes to a close, here's to wishing that you and your family have a wonderful winter break!  Take time to laugh, think, and feel each day, and, should you be so inclined, maybe even enjoy watching or playing a basketball game or two.  See you next year!

Recommended Reading

Sacred Hoops, by Phil Jackson - legendary basketball coach talks about basketball (including life with Michael Jordan), mindfullness, and Native American symbols.  A great gift for the basketball fan in your life. 

Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracy Kidder - the story of Dr. Paul Farmer and his quest to bring medical services to those in need.  Based on the Haitian proverb, "Beyond mountains there are mountains," meaning that as you solve one problem, another one presents itself.