February 17 Networking News - Are You Getting All the Wrong Referrals and Can't Figure Out Why?

Or, When Referrals Go Bad
by Karen Frank

Referrals are the life's blood of your business (I hope) and they are the "golden ticket" that you are looking for when you're working with clients and when you're out networking. In fact, most one person per profession networking groups put a huge emphasis on giving referrals.

One thing most of us learn after awhile is that, just as every person is not your favorite client, not every referral will go perfectly

Whenever you're working with people in a referral situation it can feel like that old game you may have played while sitting around the campfire. One person starts with a message and whispers that message into the ear of the person next to her. This message is passed along the line until the last person receives it and announces to the group what she thinks she heard. Of course it's never what the message started out to be and usually it's so far off that hysterical laughter is what follows.

But it's not so funny when communication between referrer, referree and you breaks down. "But I know everyone involved in this referral...what could go wrong?"

I'll give you an example.

Bob joined a networking group that encourages regular, qualified referrals. Bob feels a little self imposed pressure to refer because everyone else is giving and receiving referrals and he wants to "do his fair share."

Every week in Bob's networking group, Betty stands up and says she does coaching and she's looking for solo entrepreneurs who want to take their business "to the next level" (whatever that means). After a few meetings with Betty, Bob feels like he has an understanding of who she is looking for as a client.

One day, Bob runs into a client who is frustrated with the state of his business and wants to "amp it up". Excitedly, Bob refers the client to Betty and waits for the huge "thank you" he knows he'll receive from both Betty and his client. So far so good - right?

Here's where things go bad:

Betty calls Bob two weeks later. "What's with this referral you gave me? He was really hard to reach. When I finally did, all he wanted was a bunch of free advice. I couldn't answer some of his questions because I really don't work with Real Estate Professionals. So, after I stopped answering his questions, he had the nerve to ask me out on a date! That really wasn't a very good referral for me, Bob."

Then, the client calls. "Bob, I was interested "amping up" my business, but that person you sent to me was really pushy. She left me at least a dozen messages. When we did talk, I wasn't able to get the kind of information I was looking for. She kept telling me that we needed to establish a formal relationship and sign a contract. I kept telling her I wasn't ready to do that. I wanted to meet with her again to see if this was a good fit, but she got all offended and hung up on me. Sheesh!"

Meanwhile Bob is thinking, "Did these two people actually meet with EACH OTHER???

Here's the deal. Neither the client or Betty are happy with the situation and most likely both are upset with Bob on some level. At best, Bob's reputation as a connector is in question. It's impossible to know what actually happened in their conversation, however Bob could have prevented this situation by laying the proper groundwork before making the referral.

Here are my referral remorse avoidance tips:

1. Make sure the person you want to refer really wants to solve the problem. People love to complain. Unless you ask the question, "Are you serious about solving that problem?" AND get a 'yes,' your referral partner is really stuck with a warm (or even cold) lead. If you're not sure that the person really wants the problem solved ask, "May I have Betty call you to see if she can help you?" If there's any hesitation, chances are, they're not ready - yet. And please note, if they ask for her card and say they'll call when they're ready, that's not a referral - don't pretend otherwise.

2. Make sure you present the referral properly. BOTH ends of the referral need to be set up correctly. You can't just give out contact information and say "here ya go" and hope for the best. Be sure each party has some kind of an idea what to expect. Had Bob told Betty that the referral was a real estate professional, she might have been able to either prepare or decline the referral. It's important to note that Betty may need to consider being more specific with who she can help in her verbal marketing messages. Bob might have also relayed to the client that Betty is very concerned about making contact and will continue calling or emailing until she gets a "live response." This would mean that Bob needs to have more than a passing understanding of Betty - meaning that they need to have a working business relationship (Oh my gosh, did I type that out loud??)

3. Have an understanding of what the professional you are referring actually does (again it's a relationship thing). Have a conversation with the person first if you are at all unsure. "Hey I have a potential referral for you and I want to make sure this is something you're looking for." Then describe the situation and let them decide if it's a fit. If not - no worries. Better no referral than one like Bob and Betty's.

Remember that you are loaning your reputation to both of the parties involved in the referral. If either side becomes unhappy it could reflect negatively on you. Conversely, if both sides are delighted, this is great for you and could lead to additional business. Stay in the loop at all times and make sure things are going as they should.

The moral of the story: just because you may feel obligated or pressured to pass a referral at your networking group, this is never a good idea without pre-qualifying the situation. Your reputation is on the line and without a good reputation - your business life is much harder than it needs to be.

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Networking Expert, Karen Frank publishes Networking News, a semi-monthly newsletter devoted to helping you avoid marketing disasters and networking faux pas. Get a complimentary training video that shows you how networking can be effective and enjoyable when you register for Networking News at www.networkingsuccesskeys.com . It's fun and costs you nothing.