Gratitude....the way to a better life!
In this edition of my newsletter I am going to tell you about an important and very special person who I had in my life, a person who was instrumental in teaching me lessons about compassion, empathy and most of all, she taught me about gratitude and appreciation. This amazing person was my grandmother.
I always enjoyed visiting my grandmother who because of her illnesses spent most of the last 20 or so years of her life at home, where she lived together with her siblings and brother-in-law. In many ways my grandmother was a unique woman who neither valued the accumulation of material objects or monetary wealth, in fact these items seemed unimportant because they were never discussed when we were together. In their place we talked about people, we recalled positive memories, we shared life in the moment and together we experienced happiness.
To be in the presence of my grandmother was to experience unconditional acceptance and love. People visited her regularly and when they left, some said that in spite of my grandmother's physical limitations she managed to make them feel good. So they kept coming back for more, more of that feel good feeling that she imparted unconditionally. My grandmother always had a smile and often a joke. She had a wonderful sense of humour.
You may be asking why I decided to write about my grandmother today. You may think that the description of my grandmother is neither special nor unique, but this isn't so. You see what my grandmother taught me and my family members is the importance of "gratitude". My grandmother never saw herself as a victim despite having to face many challenges throughout her life including as I said earlier, many challenging health issues that restricted her to her home. Her world view was immense as she appeared to understand the importance and value of life. She focused on what she had and not on what she did not have, including better health. She focused on the important things in her life and this allowed her to proceed through life with a smile on her face and love in her heart and there is nothing better than that?
As Dr. Fred Luskin wrote, grievances are created when we (a) take something that happens personally, (b) when we blame someone or something else for our circumstances and (c) when we create a grievance story in which we are the victim. When we go through our life paying attention and looking either for what we don't have, or we focus on what we don't have enough of, we may experience such emotions as anger, sadness, jealousy and/or disappointment. In contrast when we notice the good that is in our life and we allow our self to feel satisfaction with what we have, then we experience gratitude and we are empowered and more in control of our own future.
My grandmother taught me to be appreciative and grateful for the people and things I have in my life for each one is a "gift" that I am grateful for. I encourage you to do what I have decided to do, that being to commit during each day to notice at least three things that I have in my life, or that I see that I am grateful for. It may be the sound of a singing bird, sharing a moment with Carly (my amazing dog), good conversation with my wife, or noticing that today I have excellent health. This morning the first thing I noticed and was grateful for was the honking of two Canadian Geese flying overhead while I took Carly for her morning walk. So amazing and just noticing them brought an immediate smile to my face that produced a joyful feeling that I felt throughout my body.
So I encourage each of you to look around and notice things and people in your life that you are grateful for regardless of how large or small they are. When you do take a few moments to enjoy the feeling of gratitude that enters your thoughts, your mind and your body. Hold those feelings and thoughts within you, don't let them go quickly because the more of these positive thoughts and images you can keep in your mind, the better you will feel and the greater chance you will have to come closer to being the best version of yourself, the person you were intended to be.
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