One way in which we neglect to maintain healthy boundaries is in being a people-pleaser.  When we go out of our way to make sure another is happy to the detriment of our own happiness, our boundaries become non-existent.  By doing this, we convey to the other person that we are unimportant.  We also convey to them that we are responsible for their happiness so they don't have to do anything about it for themselves.  We take away their personal power to do something beneficial for themselves.  In this context, it's clear to see that neither person benefits. 

Another way in which we neglect to maintain healthy boundaries is in seeking approval.  This is similar to being a people-pleaser.  When we seek approval, we invite other peoples' opinions, agendas, and fears to rule our decision making.  We "shop" for agreement and acceptance which binds us.  We invite them into our space and then give away our power.  We end up disrespecting ourselves in the process.  When we disrespect ourselves, we can't receive the respect from others that we deserve. Again, by doing this our boundaries become non-existent. 

Fear is usually a big factor in why we don't have healthy boundaries.  Both people-pleasing and seeking approval stem from fear but sometimes people in our lives use the power of fear to keep us from establishing and maintaining boundaries.  There are people who are so fueled by their own fear and ego, that they will use the power of fear to keep us under control.  These people don't want us to have boundaries because that would mean they would no longer be in charge.  So they threaten us into not setting and upholding our personal boundaries. When we live in this kind of fear, we can't uphold even the smallest of limits.  Yet, without limits we are damaging ourselves even more.  If we can simply set the intention to have healthy boundaries, we open up the door to those who will support and protect us in the process.

Lack of boundaries injures our self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and our spirit.  We begin to believe that we aren't worthy or important because all the importance is given away to someone else.  We render ourselves powerless and disrespectful.  Personal goals and heart's desires are denied and forgotten.  However, the damage that is done from not setting and upholding healthy boundaries is reversible with the right counseling and healing. 

Healthy boundaries have a positive effect on all our relationships.  Committed partnerships, parent-child, and business partnerships all benefit from having healthy boundaries as  do friendships, sibling, and other family relationships.  Everyone benefits from healthy boundaries - especially us!  We feel safe, secure, respected, and loved.  We set a good example for our children and others to follow.  Most of all we are free to be happy and joyful without distractions!  To me that's the best of all!