Last week I gave a seminar on the chakra system and mentioned how my solar plexus is my favorite center to focus on.  This is our center of personal power, self-esteem, confidence and personal boundaries.  This is also our will center - where we are firm in our desires, actions, and values.  When we are strong in this center, we are able to say "no" to those who try to shame, guilt, manipulate, blackmail, and threaten us into doing something we don't want to do.

A big life lesson for me was to strengthen and balance this center.  Intentional use of shame and guilt to get me to do something I didn't want to do was part of my upbringing as I know was the same for many others.  This was commonly used in teachings in the home, in schools, and in the church.  Religion, particularly the catholic religion, used shame and guilt exclusively to teach their beliefs of right/wrong or good/bad.  I believe we all need boundaries and some structure to stay balanced, however, using shame and guilt in this way can actually weaken and damage our firm establishment of personal boundaries.  We are simply following what we are told instead of learning to listen internally to what is right and good for us. We become confused as to how and when to assert our boundaries or of where our boundaries lie because we rely on external sources instead of the all-important internal source.

When we are confused about our boundaries, we are easily manipulated and can attract emotionally immature and abusive people.  We become magnets to those who will energetically drain us. When we begin feeling like we've had enough and start taking back our energetic power, those people begin to feel threatened as their energy supply is in danger of being cut off.  Those people, who we used to give our energetic power away to, will do or say whatever they can to keep themselves supplied.  Manipulation, blackmail, and threats of harm often follow.  If children are involved, they will be used as well.  All types of abuse come into play at this point.  Fear prevents us from saying "no" to these people and so we succumb to the abuse.

There is refuge from these people, however.  You must first make a commitment to yourself to say "no" to these people, even if you do it silently.  Once you do, you can then begin to strengthen your personal power enough to seek people who will support you. You need and deserve support and are not meant to do this alone. When you are surrounded with support (and you will be), you can remove yourself and if applicable, your children from those people safely.  You can then begin your journey towards re-building your personal power and establishing firm boundaries. 

If enough people begin focusing on this center, we will be able to collectively shift manipulative and abusive people.   They will be forced to get their energy supply from within themselves or they will end up going without.   Spiritually, this is what we are here to do to make this world a better place.  There is nothing saintly or redeeming about allowing these people to control you and your children.  Strengthen your personal power by internally saying "NO!" and watch yourself and others transform in miraculous ways!