One aspect of my personal journey in life has been to make joy my priority. I remember many times throughout my life saying to myself, "I just want to be happy". A lesson I learned some time ago was that this happiness did not lie in anything outside myself - namely love relationships, family harmony, or money.
Long ago, when I was asked by a mentor if I could commit myself to being happy regardless of what was going on around me, my belly tightened and I became fearful of this. I wondered why this was, and as I looked deeper within myself, I discovered that I was afraid if I was happy, I would never have those things I really wanted. I somehow believed that the Universe and God really wanted me to be happy, so I held back from being happy until I had those things I wanted as "insurance". I laugh at the immaturity of this, seeing that small child in me having her little temper tantrum. Yet, I forgive myself because I know this was teaching me about my ego, and from learning these lessons, I am better equipped to teach others.
The ego believes that we have to have certain things in order to be happy. Or that we have to have things a certain way in order to be happy. When we confront this fear of being happy no matter what, we are confronting the ego. When we make the decision to be happy no matter what, we suffer an "ego death". The tightness in our belly's loosen and we are more relaxed and at peace. More importantly, the grace of happiness flows effortlessly through our bodies, minds, and spirit which benefits ourselves in a myriad of ways. Our physical health improves and we can eliminate or reduce conditions and illnesses that we were previously fighting. Our mental and emotional health improves which assists us with having positive attitudes that create positive results. And our spiritual health improves and we have greater trust in what is going on for us at any moment in our lives.
Ask yourself if you can make joy a priority in your life regardless of what is happening around you right now. Notice any sensations you may have in your belly or anywhere else in your body. These are clues that your ego is still in charge of your happiness. Until you loosen your ego's grip on how you feel, you may feel stuck. Choose to free yourself from your ego's grip and allow all the wonderful benefits of your true joy to shower down upon you. You will be surprised!
