Transitioning From Blame To Responsibility

I have come across many older children and adults who have developed a pattern of blaming in order to avoid taking responsibility. Blame is a way to put the responsibility to change onto another and away from the self. This is only a temporary fix used by some to feel better about themselves, their circumstances, and experiences. It's easier for them to blame another than to look at what they need to do to change. And in avoiding the responsibility to change they risk experiencing inner turmoil, stagnancy in life, and possibly even depression.

There are many of us who have endured hardships and challenges, which may have resulted in deep emotional wounds and traumas. It can appear to be unfair to many who have faced those challenges. However, there are two things to consider regarding these challenges. One is that life is never unfair. If you look deep enough, you will see this truth. Fairness rules and exists in all things, people, circumstances, etc. It is the way of the world and is called karma. Unfairness is always balanced by karma as karma is the universe's justice system. "Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself" is a motto that can be applied to karma. When one rejects this motto by hurting or harming another, they will then be subjected to the experience of being harmed in the same painful way by someone else. The second thing to consider is that those who have suffered, even as children, are here to change their lives into one of love and joy no matter what happened to them in the past or is happening presently. It's important to remember that they have a need for support to change their lives. It is unfortunate that they may lack this support by people around them or by the news and media who are in the habit of pointing fingers. This results in enabling victimhood.

While those who harmed and hurt you need to take responsibility for their actions, blaming them for it won't make that happen. Blame only serves your anger and reinforces a victim mentality. Having a victim mentality takes all power from you and gives it to the person who harmed you in the first place. Blaming another is a way of not taking responsibility for changing your life from that point on. When you let go of blame, you are not excusing the other person for harming or hurting you, but instead taking back your power and responsibility to change your life.

I'm reminded of Elizabeth Smart. The kidnapping, rape, and horrific experiences she endured seemed very unfair. She may feel hatred and disgust at the man who did that to her yet she doesn't wallow in blame. She doesn't excuse him in any way for what happened, but instead of focusing on blaming him, she focuses on changing her life in a way that is happier for her. I find that remarkable and very inspiring. That takes strength and courage for she's not denying what happened but at the same time choosing to move forward and taking action in order to live a life she truly wants.

Nobody is confined or restricted to live a life of suffering just because they had endured circumstances in the past that were painful. Changing your life into one of love and joy is your divine right. Anyone can change their lives if they want to. The only person holding you back is yourself. Especially if you utilize blame as a way to avoid taking that responsibility. Blame will keep you mired in the past experience and reinforce your unhappy circumstances again and again. Choose to let go of blame and follow the 3 step process to living a life of love and joy. First begin by taking responsibility to change your life. Second, discover what actions are needed to change your life. And finally, start taking those actions towards a living a more loving and joyful life. Living a life of love and joy is yours for the taking!