Balance is a quality which needs practice in life. When in balance, then supply meets demand, input meets output, whether it is for money, food, work, family or recreation. The Lord's Prayer requires balance. "...forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors," (Matthew 6:12). The Bible tells us to "love thy neighbor as thyself," (Matthew 19:19) and "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so unto them," (Matthew 7:12) and "freely ye have received, freely give." (Matt 10:8) Part of being in balance is to be debt-free (except for home and auto) and thus free to make healthy financial choices for the current situation. When one follows the Biblical instruction to "owe no man anything," then one has the freedom to choose.

 

This workshop helped the attendees understand what financial choices are. If one is single, then one gets to make all one's financial choices. But most of life involves other people, whether they are spouses, children, dependent parents, friends or relatives. Even if in a long marriage, the two parties will go through numerous financial stages involving school, work, children, college, etc. and making numerous choices (for example, financial aid). One needs to learn to communicate financial values to a loved one, how to listen to another's financial values, and then merge them into a family budget.

 

In order to stay in balance, it is necessary to understand how many financial choices there are. Most people go through about 40 different financial stages involving school, work, children, college, business, inheritance, divorce, elder parent care and retirement during a lifetime. There are money-related choices to make in each one of them! If married or sharing expenses with anyone, there is a need to prioritize financial choices first and then communicate them to another person.

 

In order to stay in balance within a family, marriage or alone, one will have to make choices to be transparent and fair, while giving and receiving to stay in balance. Visualize a triangle-two of the sides represent the marriage partners and the third side is the marriage, in the middle are the children if there are any.

 

Each of the three sides is as important as the other and each adds strength to the whole, but each is also autonomous. The workshop showed how to individually make financial choices and then combine them with another person's choices.

 

The workshop then broke into two groups, in pairs, and began reading selected phrases to each other. The other individual "mirrored" back the phrase (repeated back with different wording).

 

This communication skill is important if there are two or more individuals involved. It allows family members to hear what others are saying before jumping into judgment or questions. It is a respectful way of first listening to get information in a safe environment.

 

The minimum steps for simple communication are:

1. Make a statement,

2. Mirror the statement, and

3. Get more information.

 

Here are a few of the phrases which were used in the practice:
·  "I want to live in a two story house with a big back yard."
·  "I have strong feelings about where we should live."
·  "Can we talk about our family finances this Friday night?"

 

Notice how some are easier to state than others. Notice that it is easier to mirror when you don't know the person well. That's why it is important to practice this mirroring step before moving on to questions or giving opinions about the statement.

 

The budget building-blocks section of this workshop was next:
There are five big spending categories. These categories can be used in Quicken programs, bank or online payments, or just in budget worksheets. It is possible to pick and choose for each individual situation and it is possible to go through about 40 different situations over a period of 60 years. Single, married, divorced, care of parents, children, school, both working, living at home, etc. So every year, ask what is different, put it down on paper, and then adjust the financial choices to meet the current situation.

 

Most spending fits into one of these five categories:

Housing, Food, Transportation, Family, and Money. All the rest are subcategories which fall under these five.

 

If married or sharing expenses with anyone, it is necessary to be able to formulate financial choices first and then communicate them to another person. After listening to the other person's choices, both sets of choices need to be merged into one family budget. Budgets were then prepared for four different situations and afterward shared with the entire group.

 

The following overview summarized the workshop:
1.  If in a marriage, do this process every year like an annual board meeting. Each individual should prepare an income sheet and spending sheet before sharing them with a spouse. After both individuals have shared and listened, then merge them into an annual Family Budget.
2.  Be flexible and adapt as the situation changes.
3.  Value the important qualities of time, love, companionship, music, nature, and caring that money cannot buy.

 

To close, some comments on grace were shared. Romans 11:6 (and if)(to:): "...and if by grace, then it is no more of works:..." and II Corinthians 12:9 says "My grace is sufficient for thee:..."

 

From the Students Reference Dictionary the word "grace" means "the free, unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive from him". When looking up 'grace' in the Interpreters Bible Dictionary on page 465, it states, "It is the believer's privilege to be 'under grace'-i.e. his acceptance with God is not something he must try to achieve by his own merits, but accept as a gracious, undeserved gift from God."

 

Remember to accept "the free, unmerited love and favor of God" as your rightful heritage as a child of God.