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0-10. How Close Are You?
by Dr. Gary Chapman
If you want a more intimate marriage then you must communicate with your spouse. Every couple needs a daily time when they can look into each other's eyes, talk, and listen as they share life with each other. This kind of quality time spent daily is one of the most fundamental exercises a couple can do to enhance intimacy.
Many couples go for days without such a "sharing time."
Each is involved in a busy schedule, and they simply communicate those things necessary for carrying on the daily routine. Emotionally, they grow further apart.
We can have intimacy, but it requires communication. Why not go home tonight and ask your spouse three questions:
1. Tell me one thing that happened in your life to day that you really enjoyed?
2. Now, tell me something that was really hard?
3. If you could re-live today, what would you do differently?
Questions stimulate communication and communication leads to intimacy.
For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources,click here. |
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A Word To Wives:
Things Not To Do
by H. Norman Wright
This week, we will consider lines to avoid crossing as wives. These problem behaviors often plague marriages.
Abort the Rescue Efforts
Similar to reminding is another approach: It's called rescuing.
How do you know if someone is playing the role of a rescuer? Would that man be incapable of functioning in his daily life without your help? If so, don't rescue. Encourage growth.
Do you tend to be stronger than him? If so, don't reinforce his weaknesses and foster dependency. Find his potential and encourage growth.
Does he tend to be unhappy unless you're doing something for him? If so, don't play this game. Encourage by showing you believe in capability to do it himself.
Does he make excuses for himself or do you make excuses for him? Remember that excuses cripple and perpetuate helplessness.
But aren't you to love your husband by helping and serving him? Yes, but it can become rescuing when you believe that it's your responsibility to solve his problems or protect him from the results of what he's done.
Sometimes women gain fulfillment by being a rescuer.
It makes them feel good and look good in the eyes of others. The downside is that you could end up angry, resentful, feeling exhausted or even demeaned.
Rescuing is a great diversion. You don't have to deal with your own issues if you're busy saving others.
Taken from Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband by H. Norman Wright. Published by Regal Publishing. Copyright 2010.
Also available, Bringing Out the Best in Your Wife. |
