Why is apologizing so hard? One husband said, "I know I did wrong, but so did she. In fact, she precipitated the whole thing. Why should I apologize when she's the one who started it?"

The problem with the waiting game is that the average life span for men and women is 75 years. How much of your life do you want to spend in a "cold war"?

I've know people who have spent 30 years living in the same house waiting for the other person to apologize. Why would you do that?

I know it's not all your fault, but some of it is. Apologize for your part and see what happens. The first step is often the hardest. Nothing worthwhile comes easy.

Take responsibility for your failures and request forgiveness.

#1 Be of One Mind

It's horrible to have strife in a marriage. It makes us mis­erable. It affects every area of our lives. And it's probably the closest thing to hell we'll ever know on earth. If it goes on long enough, it can destroy everything. Jesus said, "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desola­tion, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand" (Matthew 12:25). Those are frightening predictions. But prayer is the key by which unity in the marriage rela­tionship can be maintained.  

A man and wife cannot live entirely independently of one another without paying a steep price for it.

It makes them incomplete. "Neither is a man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). But because men and women are different, it's quite easy for them to get off onto completely separate paths.

Even in the closest of marriages, the two partners are still not joined at the hip. You and your wife may have separate work, interests, and activities, but if you are praying with and for one another regularly, it will keep you in tune and on the same path. Without this unity of mind and spirit that prayer provides, it's too easy to get used to the other one not being there. And if resentment about that creeps into the heart of either one of you, you can begin to hold yourself apart from one another mentally, physically, or emotionally, without even realizing it.

It is especially important to be of the same faith and beliefs. In fact, this is a good place to begin praying. Your entire relationship is compromised if you are not on the same page in this area. For example, going to separate churches, or going to a church where one of you is not happy, or one of you going to church while the other one consistently does not, all promote a lack of unity.

If you can think of other issues such as this that have caused division between you and your wife, pray specifically about them. Ask God to change your heart where necessary to bring you into unity with your wife. Where your wife's attitude and perspective need to change, pray for her to be able to change them. Your marriage will be a strong force for good if the two of you are of one mind.

Taken from The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian. Published by Harvest House Publishing.