Why Does Love Seem to Evaporate?
by Dr. Gary Chapman
Most of us remember the days when we were "in love". We were obsessed with each other. We could hardly wait to be together. When we kissed it was heaven. We dreamed of being married and spending our lives together. But now, we are married and we wonder why? As one husband told me, "I thought I would love her forever, but to be honest, I don't know if I ever loved her."
He may be right. It all depends on what you mean by the w
ord "love". The experience that we call "falling in love" may not be love at all. It certainly was not intentional. You didn't wake up one morning and say, "I think I will fall in love with her."
It just happened. It may have been motivated far more by your need to be loved, than your desire to love her. Oh, you did things for her. You bought gifts, you spoke tender words, but it was effortless, because it made you feel so good.
But true love is not about you're feeling good. It's about enriching the other person. Join me this week as I talk about why those initial feelings evaporate.
For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here. |
Are You in a Crazy Cycle?
by Emerson Eggerichs
I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into  inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems.
The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver.
But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, She doesn't respect me. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver.
The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians.) As I wrestled with the problem,
I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes.
I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip.
The content for this article comes entirely from the book Love and Respect by emerson Eggerichs. Published by Integrity Publishing.
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