Learning to Fall Forward - Part 2
by Gary Thomas      

Falls are inevitable. We can't control that, but we can control the direction in which we fall - toward or away from our spouse.

In Hollywood language, romance is expressed as a passive activity.  Usually couples will say they have "fallen" in love.  Or they may talk about being "swept off their feet." 

Adulterous couples sometimes even say, "We couldn't help ourselves; it just happened!"  This passivity is as foreign to Christian love as the moon is to the earth. 

Christian love is an aggressive movement and an active commitment.  In reality, we choose where to place our affections.

Donald Harvey writes, "Intimate relationships, as opposed to intimate experiences, are the result of planning.  They are built.  The sense of union that comes with genuine spiritual closeness will not just happen.  If it is present, it is because of definite intent and follow-through on your part.  You choose to invest, and do.  It's not left to mere chance."

It took years for me to understand I have a Christian obligation to continually move toward my wife.  I thought that as long as I didn't attack my wife or say cruel things to her, I was a "nice" husband, but the opposite of biblical love isn't hate, it's apathy. 

To stop moving toward our spouse is to stop loving him or her.  It's holding back from the very purpose of marriage.

Content taken directly from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, published by Zondervan Publishing, copyright 2000. 

Change Should Be Part of Your Apology
by Dr. Gary Chapman   

When Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I wrote the book, The Five Languages of Apology, we asked the question, "What do you expect in an apology?" 

Repeatedly we heard statements like the following:  

"Show me that you are willing to change."   

"I expect the person to find a way to keep it from happening again."   

"I want them to have a plan for improvement." 
   When someone apologizes, in our minds we're asking, "Are they sincere?" 

For some people, if you don't express the intent to change they will question your sincerity.  Repentance is one of the five languages of apology.  For some, it is their primary language. 

So, if you want to make a sincere apology don't forget to share your plan for changing your behavior. 

How will things be different in the future?

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Five Languages of Apology by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas. Published by Moody Publishing, copyright 2008

For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources,click here.