One of the great spiritual challenges for any Christian is to become less self-absorbed. We are born intensely self-focused. The discipline of Christian marriage calls us into the Christian reality of sharing and enjoying fellowship in a uniquely intimate way.
Maintaining an interest in and empathy for someone else is by no means an easy discipline to maintain - but it is a vital one. It is a skill that must be learned.
Many years ago, I and a few close friends celebrated our high school graduation by hiking on Mount Rainier. Before I attempted to jump a fast-moving creek, one of my friends advised me, "Just make sure you fall forward." The advise was well heeded. Even if I didn't make the jump, as long as I kept my momentum going forward, I wouldn't be swept into the stream.
The advise has stayed with me down through the years, as I believe that Christian marriage is also about learning to fall forward. Obstacles arise, anger flares up, and weariness dulls our feelings and our senses. When this happens the spiritually immature respond by pulling back, becoming more distant from their spouse, or even seeking to start over with somebody "more exciting."
Yet maturity is reaching by continuing to move forward past the pain and apathy.
Falls are inevitable. We can't control that, but we can control the direction in which we fall - toward or away from our spouse.
Content taken directly from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, published by Zondervan Publishing, copyright 2000.
