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Listening Leads to Understanding
by Dr. Gary Chapman
When two people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. Consequently, there is no communication.
For conversation to be meaningful it requires talking and listening.
How hard can that be? Yet, 87% of those who divorce say their main problem was that they could not communicate.
Listening begins with an attitude. If I choose to believe that every person I encounter is made in God's image; that their thoughts and feelings are important, then I am prepared to listen. If I think that the world revolves around me; that my ideas are all that counts, then why should I listen to anyone else?
Many couples don't have a communication problem, they have an attitude problem.
I'm All Ears!
If you want to have a healthy marriage, you must learn to listen. Listening leads to understanding. Once I understand what my spouse is thinking and feeling, I can have a meaningful response. When I speak before I listen, I'm simply throwing words into the wind.
May I give you a practical suggestion? When your spouse begins talking, about anything, imagine yourself having huge elephant ears. Have you heard the expression, "I'm all ears"? That's what I'm talking about. Don't think about how you are going to respond. Focus on making sure you understand the thoughts and feelings of your spouse. Then, when it's your turn to talk, your spouse can put on the elephant ears.
Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman. Based on the book, Now You're Speaking My Language by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Broadman Holman Publishers, copyright 2009.
For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.
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What We Need to Enjoy Sex
by Dr. Kevin Leman
What a Woman Needs to Enjoy Sex:
1. To feel loved, prized, and valued.
2. To be listened to and respected.
3. A romantic atmosphere. (It's why sex on the spot may work in the movies, but it's unrealistic in real life. A woman wants to feel clean - to pay attention to certain areas of her body before she wants to be touched. Hygiene is very important. All guys need is the sniff test.)
4. Privacy. (Absolutely not in her mother-in-law's house.)
5. To be understood and cuddled.
What a Man Needs to Enjoy Sex:
1. To feel needed. (Being wanted by his woman is the emotional turn-on for a man.)
2. A place. (Anywhere will do.)
It's a short list!
Content taken directly from Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriageby Kevin Leman. Published by Tyndale House Publishing.
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