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Covenant Relationships Require Confrontation and Forgiveness - Part 2
by Dr. Gary Chapman
Ignoring the failures of your spouse is not the road to marital growth.
"Grin and bear it" is not the language of covenant marriage.
A person committed to a covenant marriage says, "I love you too much to remain silent when I see you breaking our covenant. What you are doing hurts me deeply, but I am willing to forgive you. Can't we please renew our covenant?"
Such covenant renewals are seen throughout God's relationship with his people. Examples are Joshua 1:16-18 and Joshua 24:14-28.
For today's Christian, the same forgiveness is offered in 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Note that although God's forgiveness is offered, it is not experienced until we are willing to confess our sins (humility).
Likewise in a covenant marriage, each of us is to have a willingness to forgive, but forgiveness cannot be experienced and the relationship restored unless we are willing to be responsible for our actions and acknowledge our failures.
Covenant marriage is marked by a commitment to responsible living and a willingness to forgive when our spouse fails.
This article is taken from Dr. Chapman's book, Now You're Speaking My Language published by Broadman and Holman.
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