|
Covenant Relationships Are Based On Steadfast Love
by Dr. Gary Chapman
The phrase "steadfast love" is the best translation of the Old Testament word hesed and the New Testament word agape. The characteristic of a steadfast love is at the center of covenant marriage.
We make contracts with almost anyone, even an unknown salesperson, but covenants are made only with those with whom we have loving relationships. Consider Jonathan's covenant with David: "Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as himself....Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself" (1 Sam. 18:1,3).
Jonathan did not make a covenant with David in order to establish a relationship; the covenant grew from a loving relationship that was already established.
Covenant love is not love as a romantic feeling. This love is something far deeper. Steadfast love does have an emotional element, but it is primarily a way of thinking and behaving toward one's spouse.
Steadfast love is choosing to have positive regard for your spouse, and expressing appreciation to him or her for those characteristics. It is doing things for him or her that will express this positive attitude.
Steadfast love refuses to focus on the negative aspects of one's spouse. We don't deny them. On the contrary, we discuss them, especially if there is the potential for change. Yet steadfast love refuses to dwell on these negative aspects. Few people can survive constant harassment and condemnation of a spouse.
Steadfast love is a choice! That's why Paul commanded husbands to love their wives (Eph. 5:25) and challenged wives to learn to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Something that can be commanded, taught, and learned is not beyond our control. We choose our attitudes toward our spouse.
This article is taken from Dr. Chapman's book, Now You're Speaking My Language published by Broadman and Holman.
| 
