Covenants Are Initiated for the Others Benefit
by Dr. Gary Chapman   

Read the covenant Jonathan made with David:  

"Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself.  Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt" (1 Samuel 18:2-4).   

Notice that Jonathan took the initiation in this covenant.  His first act was an act of giving: his robe, tunic, sword, bow, belt.  Jonathan's motivation for making a covenant with David grew from his love for David and not from a selfish desire to manipulate David to do something for him.

It is after Naomi makes it clear that she has nothing to offer her daughter-in-law that Ruth makes this covenant:

"Do not persuade me to leave you or go back and not follow you.  For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried" (Ruth 1:16-17).   

Ruth's commitment to Naomi clearly grew from her concern for Naomi's well-being.   

While David and Naomi's sense of commitment to the covenant was fully as strong as that of Jonathan and Ruth, they did not initiate the covenant.  Covenants are born from a desire to minister to the other person, not to manipulate the person or to get something.   

In a covenant marriage, each spouse is committed to the others well-being.   

The motivation and attitude is not to be self-gratification, but giving of self for the others well-being.  

This article is taken from Dr. Chapman's book, Now You're Speaking My Language published by Broadman and Holman.  

You Can Influence a Spiritually Mismatched Spouse
by Lee and Leslie Strobel  

You can't control your spouse's spiritual outlook; if you could, he or she would already be a Christian!  But you have quite a bit of control over how you live.

And it's possible to unilaterally live out your faith and influence your marriage and children with Christian values, even without the participation of your partner.

Jo Berry, in her book Beloved Unbeliever, makes this important observation:

"Rather than wishing things were different, all of us have to admit that, for the most part, our marriages only will be as good as we make them. And any unequally yoked wife can have a 'Christian' marriage, to the extent that she is willing to implement God's standards into her performance and the relationship itself."

That's a liberating thought! The Christian principles, values, and morality that you decide to put into your marriage are going to change the entire flavor of your relationship.

So you don't have to wait until your spouse is a Christian to have a "Christian" marriage. You can have one, at least to some degree, right away. You can decide on your own to live out your faith as best you can - by being a truth teller, a servant, a forgiver, a worshipper, and a person of humility, integrity, compassion, kindness, and self-control.

The extent to which your relationship can be "Christian" is the extent to which you commit yourself to following Jesus and letting his influence permeate your entire life. 
 

Content taken directly from  Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage  by Lee and Leslie Strobel.  Published by Zondervan Publishing. $10.99.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30