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What Couple Time Looks Like
by Dr. David Clarke
Sit down over the weekend and schedule your couple times for the upcoming week. Nail down specific days and times, taking into consideration any activities that might prevent these times. Don't wing it and hope to pull off these meetings without any planning. they'll never happen. Schedule them.
Make it your goal to meet every day. I tell my clients, "Shoot for seven days and get four." A minimum of four couple times a week will be enough to generate connection and closeness.
Pick the times that are best for both of you. It doesn't matter when you meet as long as you sit down together for 20-30 minutes during the day. If you meet in the evening, be sure to meet as early as possible. You want to fresh and alert.
Where you meet is also important. It must be private and quiet. Send your children to their rooms with strict instructions not to come our until you give them the high sign. Choose a comfortable place like the living room, den, or back porch. Soft, low lighting will help create the proper ambience.
I recommend that you not have your couple times in bed. It's too relaxing. Lying down or reclining will make you drowsy. When one partner falls asleep, it kind of ruins the couple time! Besides, the husband may "accidentally" go into fondling mode, and it's hard to fondle and talk at the same time!
No distractions - TV, computer, phone, kids, pets, etc. Do your very best to place all worries and concerns out of reach. You are escaping from the world and all its diversions during this sacred couple time together.
The content? Why not read that day's MarriageVine email!
Article is based on the book, The Total Marriage Makeover by Dr. David Clarke. Published by Barbour Books.
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