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Communication Tool #2: Focused Attention
by Willie Batson
A significant way of increasing positive feelings and actions is with four communication tools found in this verse from Song of Songs in the Bible:
My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face,
let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14
Tool #2: Focused Attention
The request by the husband in Song of Songs, "Show me your face," signifies the desire for face-to-face communication. A great key to communicating well is to make sure you have each others focused attention when it counts.
Face-to-face conversations are better because you are able to give your attention to the verbal and non-verbal aspects of conversation. Natural eye contact, not staring or gazing off into who-knows-where, helps you communicate that you value your spouse's words. And to value their words is to value them.
Everything you do with your body is communicating a message whether you intend it or not. Telling your spouse, "I love you," with your hands planted on your hips sends the wrong message.
For important talks in your marriage, find a quiet place that makes it easier to pay attention to each other, and promotes good talk rather than bad talk.
Article is based on the book, Tools for a Great Marriage by Willie Batson. Published by Family Builders Ministry, copyright 2008.
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