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Modern Parenting Myths
by Dr. Kevin Leman
#4 "My Child Deserves the Things I Didn't Have When Growing Up"
Let me put this up-front so you can't miss it: the home court advantage is not about giving your kids the equipment; it's about giving them love, care, and security. If you want homegrown kids, what kind of indelible imprint do you want to leave on them? Do what every other parent does, and you're saying its best to go along with the crowd, just do what everybody else does - whether it makes sense or not.
I'm amazed at how many parents don't have a realistic concept of what constitutes excess. I believe that misconception comes from the idea that if we love our children we'll give them everything they want that we can afford. We fear that if we don't give them what others have, they'll resent us or fall behind. I'm more interested in cultivating realistic expectations and a thankful heart.
For example, when Hannah turned 16, we still had a steam-powered computer that she used to do her homework and e-mail friends. It was slower than molasses running uphill, and it had less memory than a two-day-old baby.
"Dad," my son, Kevin, said, "in two years Hannah's heading off to college and she'll need a computer. The one we have now is so old it won't run any of the new programs she's going to need. Why don't you consider getting her a notebook computer? An Apple MacBook would be a great choice."
Sande and I know more about quantum physics and ancient Aramaic than we do about computers - which us to say, nothing at all. To me, a "hard drive" is a difficult commute home, and I wouldn't think of "burning a disc" without a permit from the fire department. But Kevin knows this stuff.
Hannah was thrilled. She got a computer without even asking for it! Not once did she ever say with an attitude, "I want a computer!"
"Did you see the note?" Sande asked me the morning after we'd given Hannah her computer. I walked into the kitchen and there was a note on a paper plate:
I just want to thank you again.
I love you guys so much;
Thank you for my computer.
-Your Hannah
Your Hannah. That's a phrase every homegrown parent shoots for. It's the kind of thing worth writing - or e-mailing - home about.
Content taken directly from Home Court Advantage by Dr. Kevin Leman, published by Tyndale House Publishing.
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