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Modern Parenting Myths
by Dr. Kevin Leman
#1 "It's Not the Quantity But the Quality That Matters"
When I was growing up, my father scratched my back while we watched TV together. Halfway through a 30-minute program we'd switch and I'd scratch his back. I value the memory of those times more than I do any car I've owned or any house I've bought. Even kids who didn't get enough of their parents, or who came from troubled homes, cherish the few good moments they did have.
For a child, the quantity of time you spend together is part of what makes it a quality experience.
Yes, quantity time should be quality time, too - more than simply logging minutes in the parent/child flight book. But more is part of the equation that makes that time
better.
#2 "Children Should Be Free To Express Themselves Any Way They Want"
Sande and I were in a restaurant with a woman we hadn't seen in years - and her two little boys. Her sons were cuter than cute, the kind you'd find on a breakfast cereal commercial or Saturday morning kids' show. But like stereotypical child stars, they were unmanageable.
One of them, a four-year-old, was clearly trained in sibling torture techniques. He began digging his fingernails into my leg under the table. Perhaps it was my contorted face that caused Mommy to try to divert his attention. In response, he started hitting her.
"Oh, that's boys for you!" the woman said as she tickled him to make light of it.
Lady, I thought, boys are different from girls. But boys and girls alike need discipline; at times they need lines drawn in the sand to know they can't hit, hold their sisters hostage, or stage a minivan mutiny.
I'm all for nurturing kids' personalities and gifts. But anyone who believes that children are born with angel wings should toss a candy bar into the "Duck, Duck, Goose" circle to see the little devils come out. Boundaries have to be drawn. We don't want to encourage all that children are.
Many parents today want their kids to be whoever they are without any constraints. But you deny your parental wisdom when you let your child take the reins. Homegrown kids have boundaries.
Content taken directly from Home Court Advantage by Dr. Kevin Leman, published by Tyndale House Publishing.
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