Sexual and Emotional Intimacy
by Dr. Gary Chapman  

"Why are women so emotional?"  I could tell he was serious, so I gave him an answer.  "That's easy," I said, "because she is human."  "But I'm not emotional," he said.  "Then you're not human," I said.  Many men are not in touch with their emotions, but they are emotional.  Let his wife get involved with another man, and you will see his emotions arise.

When your wife complains that she doesn't feel close to you, she is crying for emotional intimacy.  She wants you to share with her how you "feel" about things.  She also wants you to be interested in her feelings.  When she says, "I'm feeling depressed," she doesn't need you to say, "What have you got to be depressed about?"  She needs you to drop whatever you are doing, sit down, and say, "Tell me about it.

Listen to her and express understanding.  Don't try to talk her out of her feelings.  "I can see how that would be very disappointing," is far better than, "Why would you let that get you down?"  She doesn't need condemnation.  She needs understanding.  Emotional intimacy is an important ingredient to A Growing Marriage. 

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book,  Now You're Speaking My Language  by Gary Chapman. Published by Broadman and Holman Publishers. For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

In My Hour of Need
by David and Teresa Ferguson 

Always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.

I Thessalonians 5:15

I (Teresa) was lying in bed with the flu, too sick to get anything done but not quite sick enough to go to the doctor. I had a million and one things to do, and now I couldn't do any of them.  I ran over the list of necessary "to-do's" and got exhausted just thinking about them.  The kids needed to be picked up from school, and then they needed a quick snack and help with their homework.  Then there was dinner to fix and kids to get bathed.  A thought ran through my groggy head: Am I too sick to run away from home - just for a day or two? 

About that time David called from work.  He asked how I was doing and if I needed anything right away.  I answered "no," but my heart said differently.  Without hesitation David offered to pick the kids up from school and get them a snack on the way home.  He told me to rest and not worry about dinner, as he would pick up some burgers.  He even thought to reassure me that he would be in charge of all homework and bath duty for the evening.  He just wanted me to concentrate on getting better, because he was sorry I was sick.  I felt better already.

It's the times when David is sensitive to my needs and the needs of our family that I appreciate him the most.  His kindness that day spoke volumes of his love for me.  I knew he had given thought to what would be good for both of us and our kids.

This, to me, was an example of David showing me kindness through meeting a practical need - the need for rest.

Content taken directly from The One Year Book of Devotions for Couples by David and Teresa Ferguson, published by Tyndale House Publishing.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:12-14