Marriage Focus by MarriageVine
 

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy
by Dr. Gary Chapman  

  

Now You're Speaking My Language 

She wants emotional intimacy and he wants sexual intimacy.  How will they ever "get it together?"  I believe the answer lies in taking seriously the teaching of Scripture.  "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it."  Why do we love God?  Because He first loved us.  Husbands, we are the leaders, and Christ is our example.

If you want your wife to be sexually responsive, then you must focus on meeting her need for emotional intimacy.  Whatever she complains about is a clue to what is important to her.  If she says, "We don't ever spend any time together," she is telling you what would make her feel close to you.  If she asks, "How did your day go?"   She is asking you to let her into your life.  When you respond, "fine", it doesn't do much to ignite her passion for you.

Learning to respond to your wife's requests with loving concern is the first step in improving sexual intimacy.  Remember Jesus said, "Give and it shall be given unto you."  Focus on meeting her needs and you will see the power of love. 

 

 

 

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book,  Now You're Speaking My Language  by Gary Chapman. Published by Broadman and Holman Publishers. For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here    

Love My Brother?
by David and Teresa Ferguson 

 

One Year Book of Devotions for Couples 

All of you be of one mind...tenderhearted.  

I Peter 3:8

 

Being kind to one another was a family priority when the kids were small.  For example, I (Teresa) taught them to say "thank you" when someone shared his or her toys or when an adult served them at the table.  As the kids became teenagers, we seemed to grow out of making kindness a priority.  Instead, issues like being home on time, getting homework done, and not wrecking the car bacame more important.  The habits of being kind to one another we had developed seemed suddenly foreign during those teen years.

 

David and I discussed what we were seeing happen between the kids.  During one of our marriage staff meetings, we thought of a plan to increase kindness in our family.  We first determined that David and I needed to model kindness to one another.  Second, we decided to insist that the kids talk to one another with kind words and respectful tones.  We determined to design and follow through with a plan of discipline that encouraged kind words and actions.  Then the work began.

 

David and I worked hard to affirm one another and the kids at dinner.  We watched our tone as we talked with the kids and used words that were tender rather than inflammatory.  We stopped Eric when he teased his sister about a sensitive subject.  We asked Robin to keep quiet if she didn't have anything positive to say about dinner - or the cook who prepared it.  We stopped Terri from criticizing her younger brother and sister, even though they often "got in the way."

 

The kids are all kind to each other without us having to stand over them.  It's a joy to see kindness become a heritage we can pass on to our kids.

 

 

Content taken directly from The One Year Book of Devotions for Couples by David and Teresa Ferguson, published by Tyndale House Publishing.

 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:12-14

 

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