Self Development Is a Marital Priority 
by Dr. Gary Chapman  

A wife said to me recently, "I'm so busy with my family, my job, and my church that I feel like I don't have any time for me."  Is this wife being self-centered?  Not at all.  She is trying to balance her priorities.  

Believing that we are made in God's image and that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, most Christians would agree that among their list of priorities would be caring for their own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

We are told by Jesus that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.   

The Christian who does not give adequate attention to his own needs will not long love and serve his neighbor.   

In marriage we must help each other find time for personal development.  The husband who keeps the children while his wife takes a walk or reads a book is being a spiritual leader.  He is looking out for his wife's well-being.  When the wife returns the favor, she is serving God by serving her husband.   

Helping each other find time for self-renewal physically, emotionally, and spiritually is an important element of a growing marriage. 

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, Now You're Speaking My Language by Gary Chapman. Published by Broadman and Holman. For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Trust Is a Must 
by Dr. Gary Chapman 

Our topic this week has been regaining trust and intimacy.  Trust is based on the belief that I am loved, that my spouse has my best interest in mind.  Trust is destroyed when the spouse's behavior indicates that my belief was wrong.  The spouse has chosen to walk his own way rather than love me.   

But trust can be reborn if my spouse repents and shows evidence of being trustworthy.

Trust does not return overnight, but when your spouse shows by words and deeds that he or she is thinking about your best interests.  When they do those things that express genuine love to you, trust begins to grow.  Over a period of time trust can become strong again. 

Why is trust so important in a marriage?  Because without trust there can be no intimacy.  We cannot be open and enter deeply into each others lives if we do not trust each other.   

Dealing with failures is a necessity for restoring trust and laying the foundation for rebuilding intimacy.  And marital intimacy was God's idea.  He said, "the two shall become one flesh."

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.