With the Spirit's Help...
by Dr. Gary Chapman  

Some of the things we read in the Bible seem extremely difficult to apply, especially in marriage.  For example: "Love your enemies."  Anyone have a spouse who qualifies?

"Do good to those who hate you."  Has your spouse expressed those words to you?  Find something good and do it for them.

"Bless those who curse you."  Your spouse comes home and curses you.  When he finishes, you turn and say, "Bless you my dear."  I didn't say it.  I wouldn't even have thought it.  Jesus said it.

He also said,   "Pray for those who despite-fully use you."  You feel used?  Pray for them.  And I don't think He meant "pray that the wrath of God will fall on their heads." 

Jesus taught us clearly that we are to love the unlovely, even if you happen to be married to them.  Impossible?  Probably, without the help of God.   

But remember, the Bible says that "God loved us when we were unlovely."  And that "the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit."   

Yes, in His power, we can love an unlovely spouse.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Marriage You've Always Wanted  by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Don't Expect To Understand Him 

by Gary Thomas

Because of the different ways in which our brains function, you will serve your marriage well by accepting the fact that there are some things about your husband you will never understand. 

I learned with my kids that when something annoys me, sometimes the real problem is my annoyance.  I used to think I needed to change what annoyed me; then I realized that sometimes the problem is simply that I allow myself to be bugged by something that is morally neutral or merely inconvenient.  Solomon once wrote, "A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue" (Proverbs 11:12).

Be a woman of understanding - learn how to communicate and when to communicate in such a way that your husband can fully participate.   

Part of living with someone is learning to accommodate them, and that includes all their nonsensical habits and rituals.  Don't let petty annoyances poison your relationships.  Live with - and even celebrate - the mystery:  "It doesn't make sense, but that's the way he likes it, and that's good enough for me."

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Article taken directly from the book, Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. Published by Zondervan Publishing.