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Men Do Well With Emotional Rest
by Gary Thomas
Just as verbal barrage can overwhelm the male brain, so can emotional barrage. When a woman "crowds" a man, he starts to panic. The biology of a man's brain requires that he get occasional vacations from emotional involvement.
This is especially true after work. Most men need to decompress. Our brains have been working hard all day long. We've been solving problems, putting forth our best efforts, and mentally we need some time to crash befrore we pick up and assert ourselves again. It's not personal; it's not a statement about you. Rather, it's a statement about our brains and their weariness.
In fact, it's the wise wife who encourages her husband to occasionally go off on his own.
My friend Dave Deur, the pastor I mentioned in chapter 4 who asked his class members to list five ways they love to be loved, said that the third most common response (after affirmation and sex) was this: many men mentioned that they simply wanted the freedom to occasionally do something "fun" without being made to feel guilty, without a sigh of disappointment or a guilt-inducing, "So, you'd really rather go scream at some football players than spend an evening with your children?"
There's a positive corollary to this, of course. Few women today get the refreshment time they need. Just as your husband needs an occasional break from work and family life, so do you. You're more likely to get this time if you remain sensitive to your husband's need for it.
I'm much more eager to go out of my way to make sure Lisa gets time for herself when she's encouraging me to take that same time.
Guys may not be terribly altruistic, but usually we're sensitive to fair play.
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Article taken directly from the book, Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. Published by Zondervan Publishing.
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