Apologizing by Accepting Responsibility
by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas 

Apology Language #2: Accepting Responsibility

For many individuals, the most important part of an apology is acknowledgement that one's behavior is wrong.  A simple apology can make a world of difference - but an apology means accepting responsibility for one's actions.

Why is it so difficult for some of us to say, "I was wrong"?  Often our reluctance to admit wrongdoing is tied to our sense of self-worth.  To admit that we are wrong is perceived as weakness.  We may reason, Only losers confess.  Intelligent people try to show that their actions were justified.

Many mature adults learn to accept responsibility for their behavior, whereas immature adults continue with childish fantasies and tend to blame others for their mistakes.  

At the heart of accepting responsibility for one's behavior is the willingness to admit, "I was wrong."

For many individuals, hearing the apology language of accepting responsibility for one's wrong behavior is the most important part of an apology.  It is what convinces these individuals that the apology is sincere.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Five Languages of Apology by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

The Beginning of Jesus In Our Conversation 

by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman   

Redeeming talk confesses God's presence, my failure, your hurt and our desire for the mystery of intimate truth to bring us to a new union.   

It begins with one of the most radical premises of the Bible:  all problems in my life are first and foremost my own and not yours. 

Jesus tells us:  "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.  For you will be treated as you treat others.  The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.  And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"  (Matthew 7:1-3).  

If this passage were believed and lived, it would end the vast majority of bad talk.   

It might not carry us to redeeming talk, but it would at least cut down the chronic presence of contempt.

Article taken directly from the book,  The Intimate Mystery by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman. Published by InterVarsity Publishing.