Who Does What?
by Dr. Gary Chapman

Our society has undergone a great deal of change in the basic role expectations of the husband-wife team. Traditionally, the husband has been the provider and the wife the homemaker. Currently, however, there are more wives working outside the home than there are those following the traditional role of domestic engineer. This has spawned fresh areas of conflict in marriage.  

If the wife is going to work outside the home and play an equal role with the husband in financial provision, then will he take an equal degree of responsibility for household tasks? Probably not, according to the latest research. So, the wife often feels put upon.  

How do we deal with these negative feelings that may develop into bitterness? 

The best way is to share the feelings and seek to negotiate a change.  

If it is stated in a positive way, the husband will likely be willing to change. A wife might say, "I love you and I really want to be a good wife, but I'm about to go under. I need your help." Then she goes on to describe the pressure she feels from having so much to do.  

This week I will talk about: Who is going to do what, in marriage?

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Threats During Trials
by Gary and Barb Rosberg  

Please Keep Communicating!!

Barb and I know from experience that it's tough to communicate during tough times. Even the smallest of trials can drive a wedge between a husband and wife. And if small conflicts can divide you, think how much more some of the devastating blows of life can push you apart. [We will explore] three reasons why trials are a threat to communication.

Threat #1:  Trials isolate us in our own thoughts.

Trials have a way of forcing even the most communicative people inward. Rosa, for example, had always worn her thoughts and feelings on the outside. Her husband, Andy, said he never had to wonder what was going on in Rosa's head because it was always simultaneously coming out her mouth! Yet when Rosa lost her two sisters to breast cancer, she retreated within herself.

Then cancer became a personal issue. When Rosa's doctor recommended that she undergo a radical preemptive mastectomy, she knew she faced a decision only she could make.  

Even though the decision was ultimately Rosa's to make, vital information for making this decision came from her husband. He told her that he wanted her around forever and that he would love and treasure her whatever she looked like.  

Andy asked some key questions to help her start communicating again.

Article taken directly from the book,  The Five Love Needs of Men & Women by Gary and Barb Rosberg. Published by Tyndale Publishing.