Giving Quality Time
by Dr. Gary Chapman

"We don't ever spend any time together.  We're like two ships passing in the dark."  Do those words sound familiar?  Does your spouse complain about not having time with you?  Then perhaps his/her love language is quality time. 

For this person, nothing speaks more deeply than having your undivided attention.  It doesn't require all evening, but it does require that for a few minutes, you stop everything else and focus on your spouse.  

Look into her eyes.  Ask questions about her day.  Express genuine interest in her life; how she feels, what she is thinking, what she wants.  This is quality time.   

The wife who says, "We don't ever talk.  He's always busy doing other things.  Good things, but there's no time for us," is crying for quality time.  If she doesn't get it, then it's only a matter of time and she will say, "My husband doesn't love me."  He may be shocked that she would have such feelings.  

He may be loving her in a thousand ways, but he is not speaking her love language.  If he gives her quality time, he will speak to her need.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book,  The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Creating A.W.E. Through Warmth
by Jim Burns 

This week, author and radio host, Jim Burns, talks about creating A.W.E. (affection, warmth, encouragement) in your marriage.  Today, he looks at warmth.

If you haven't noticed, it really takes a lot of work, self-control, and focus to keep a relationship full of warmth.  You can reset the thermostat from "chilly" to "warm," but you can't do it without an incredible amount of discipline and self-determination.

Think back to your dating days.  Naturally, there was much more warmth to the relationship back then.  Why?   

We worked at it and didn't feel the need to fight out every battle.   

Sometimes marriages slip into bad habits, and a lack of warmth is just a bad habit.   

Too many relationships are trying to function with a constant low-grade anger and negative atmosphere, and that is just like trying to live life to the fullest with an infection and fever.  We can function okay for a while, but eventually the temperature begins to affect us and our bodies slow down.   

The same thing happens when spouses live together with a lack of warmth.  The marriage shuts down and moves to a lower level of fulfillment.

Article taken directly from the book,  Creating an Intimate Marriage by Jim Burns. Published by Bethany House Publishing.  For more on Jim Burns, visit www.homeword.com