When Trying to Change Him Is Hurting You
by Dr. David Hawkins
You want to help your man grow - who wouldn't? And you're trying to remain as supportive and positive as possible. But when the changes are slow in coming and your patience begins to wear thin, you may wonder, Am I helping the situation at all? Secret #3: Real Change Requires Real Action Change does not just happen. We all know this - or do we? Do we realistically assess the difficulty of making fundamental changes? Unfortunately, most of us dance around issues. We don't want to make decisive action, for doing so requires that we endure some discomfort. Change means we will no longer be able to live in our familiar ruts. We will have to deal with anxiety, apprehension, or perhaps even fear. Most of us would rather circle around problems than grapple with those feelings.
Ignoring problems never solves anything; in fact, they usually get worse over time. Too often we assume that the things we want and need from a relationship will come to us.
- If we ask for something, it will come.
- Our partner will want to please us.
- He or she will be willing to make the changes necessary to please us.
- If our partner makes an effort, change will occur.
- He or she knows what we need and will work at meeting the need. But reality is a bit harsher:
- Most people are self-absorbed.
- They are concerned mostly about their own well-being.
- They cannot read our minds.
- They may want to change but may not be motivated enough to do so.
- They have not fully calculated the requirements for change. - They have not had a serious discussion with their partner about this.
Content taken directly from How Trying To Change Him Is Hurting You by Dr. David Hawkins published by Harvest House.
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