First Step to Spiritual Intimacy 
by Dr. Gary Chapman

Most of the couples I meet wish that they could share more freely with each other, about their spiritual journey.  We often speak of emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy, but we seldom talk about spiritual intimacy, and yet, this affects all other areas of the marriage.

Just as emotional intimacy comes from sharing your feelings, spiritual intimacy comes from sharing your walk with God.  You don't have to be spiritual giants to have spiritual intimacy in marriage, but you must be willing to share with each other where you are spiritually.

The husband who says, "I'm not feeling very close to God today," may not stimulate great joy in his wife's heart, but he does open the possibility for her to enter into his spiritual experience.  If she responds, "Tell me about it, how are you feeling today?" she encourages spiritual intimacy.  If however, she says, "Well if you don't feel close to God, guess who moved?" she has stopped the flow and he walks away feeling condemned.   

Spiritual intimacy requires a willingness to listen without preaching. 

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book,  Now You're Speaking My Language by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Many people, if they were totally honest, would admit that the central focus of their marriage is personal satisfaction.  In this view, marriage is a means of self-fulfillment, a path to personal happiness.  I find someone who seems to complete me, who feels like my "soul-mate."  My heart melts, I open myself up to her, and she to me.  This view says, I know my marriage is good because I'm happy. You complete me, and I'm so satisfied with you. Therefore our marriage is good.

Others say that's just selfish.  Marriage is not about me, it's about my spouse, they declare.  I commit my life to making you happy.  If you're happy. I'm happy.  My needs aren't important.  I am your noble servant, the wind beneath your wings.  I exist to serve you.  I must serve you!

Still others say, No, marriage is not about you or me.  It's about us.  We check our Me at the door of We.  What you might need and what I might want are all consumed in the greater vision of Marriage.  We live as one.  We think as one.  We feel as one.  We are Marriage!

The truth is, all these views have the same fatal limitation: They are centered in man rather than in God.  

A truly Christian marriage starts with the reality that the institution of marriage does not belong to us.  It belongs to God.  He designed marriage, and his purposes for it are paramount.

So then, what are God's purposes for marriage?  Keep reading all week...