Test Number 3: 
Our heart is softened if it is attracted only to our spouse.   

The process of leaving, uniting, and becoming one flesh implies an exclusive relationship.  It allows no room for competitors or substitutes. 

It results in two hearts so attracted to each other that we cannot imagine sharing our physical and emotional married love with someone else.  We find each other more than enough - our love is satisfying, desirable, and sufficient.   

Distracting thoughts, nagging urges, and emotional attractions simply have no lasting place because our heart is drawn to one person and one person only - our spouse.   

In short, a softened heart is free, faithful, and fulfilled.  

A wise word to those
who are tempted to stray from your vows:

The strong attraction you feel to the other person is not from God.  What is tempting you is the world, the flesh, the devil, or all three at once.  The Bible says those three are at war with the Spirit of God that lives within you (if you are His child).   

That war going on inside is a real conflict.  It isn't a harmless emotional struggle simply between the good and the best, boredom and excitement, or Option A or Option B.   

It's an all-out, winner-take-all-loser-is-destroyed war between good and evil, blessing and destruction, and ultimately life and death.  

The Need for Social Relationships 
by Dr. Gary Chapman

Wherever man is found, he is a social creature.  He relates to others.  Marriage does not diminish this need to relate to those outside the family.  The wife may wish to be a part of a ladies' civic club.  The husband should seek to encourage her involvement.  In so doing he is helping meet her social needs.

A husband may want his wife to initiate a neighborhood dinner or participate with him in a church Bible study.   Such activities may not be at the top of her priority list, but they quickly ascend in importance because meeting his needs is important to her. 

In helping  each other develop social relationships, we are enhancing their growth as a person.  If we put down their social interests as being superficial and unimportant, we create tension because we are seeking to thwart one of man's basic needs:  the need to relate.   

In a healthy marriage, social relationships are seen as a normal part of life.   

When we seek to meet each others needs we are building a strong marriage.  

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.