A Daily Question for You 
by Dr. Gary Chapman

Questions become an important stimulus to communication.  If the husband comes home and wife does not ask, "How did things go?" perhaps she is communicating, "I don't care how things went."  If a husband never inquires about the wife's experiences, she may feel rejected and unloved.   

Asking questions about the day-to-day events is the easiest and best place to begin.

If you are afraid that such questions will fill up your whole evening and allow you no time for other interests, then set limits.   

"Tell me three things that happened in your life today and how you feel about them?"  is a request with limits.  It won't take all night, but it will give you more information than many couples are sharing each day.

If each of you share three things that happened today and how you feel about them you are on the road to good communication.   

Then bring the children in on the act.  Let them share three things.  They need to learn to communicate also.  Who knows, someday, they may get married!

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Top ten ways to add more Marriage Minutes to your days.

1. Talk to God.

If your heart is not right, you will dismiss even the best suggestions for how to spend more time with each other.

2. Schedule time on your calendars.

Sit down together with your calendars and compare activities and time allowed for each activity. Discuss how you can grab at least two hours a week to focus on each other, and mark out that time on your schedule. This will allow you to protect your marriage from the fox of overwork and overcommittment.

3. Interview an older couple.

Invite one or two older couples whose marriage you respect over for dinner. Ask them questions such as:

When you were younger, how did you keep your marriage a priority? How did you make time for romance and intimacy? What is your most memorable romantic time together?

Their wisdom will inspire you to create Marriage Minutes together.

4. Brainstorm with couples your age.

Organize a "Potluck with a Purpose" and invite couples who also want to spend time together. Ask every couple to be prepared to share three creative things they have done to grab Marriage Minutes. Compile a master list and ask the couples if they are willing to meet every six months or every year to update the list.

5. Fast from television for one week

We think you will be shocked how much time you will have for romance when you turn off the tube. Try it for one week and see the difference it makes in finding time to enjoy for intimacy.

6. Hire a babysitter.

Don't waste your babysitting dollars on going to see a movie. Instead, hire a sitter to take your kids to the park on Saturday morning for two hours while you spend that time at home - in bed.

7. Arrange for a kid swap.

Find a couple you trust who is willing to swap kids with you one evening a month. You take their kids from 5:00pm to 8:00pm the first month, and next month they watch yours. Three hours focused on loving each other can revitalize a marriage.

8. Schedule a motel date.

When curious teenagers fill the house and won't go to bed before midnight, it can short-circuit your love life. Leave your teens with a pizza and a good movie; pack a picnic basket filled with fun food, a CD player, candles, and scented lotion; and go to a motel from 5:00pm to 11:00pm. You'll be amazed at how much loving and talking you can do with no ringing phones! It's cheaper than dinner out and a movie - and more fun!

9. Enjoy a daily devotional.

Intimacy is about sex, but it's also about being emotionally and spiritually one with your mate. One of the ways to accomplish this is by praying together and reading a daily devotional together. We recommend the devotional: Marriage Minutes 

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10. Enjoy the Sabbath rest.

God asks us to take a Sabbath rest. Our bodies were made for a day of rest once a week. Set aside the whole day to worship God, take naps, rest, and play together. This is part of intimacy- finding rest in one another, lying in each other's arms, and enjoying the closeness without the stress of life.