Communication Is a Must 
by Dr. Gary Chapman

When God said of Adam and Eve, "The two shall become one flesh", he was not speaking only of physical oneness.  In marriage, all of life is to be shared, and shared so deeply that it can be said of us, "we become one".   

Communication is the vehicle by which we attain this kind of intimacy.

If we are to become one and enjoy the warm flow of life, we must communicate.   

We cannot know each other unless we confide in each other.  The apostle Paul put his finger on this truth when he said: "For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him?"  We cannot reach each other's minds.

If your spouse is to know your thoughts, feelings, and desires, then you must choose to reveal them.  Only then can they possibly understand you.  Communication is the life-line of marriage.  Without it the marriage fails.  With it, deep, satisfying intimacy is possible.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.     

Song of Solomon 2:15: 

"Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom." 

Most interpreters agree that the vineyards in this verse represent Solomon and Tirzah's love, which is in full bloom.  Everything seems perfect, except that Tirzah spies some little foxes in their vineyard and warns Solomon of their presence.   

While seemingly harmless at only fifteen inches tall, these foxes dug holes and passages that loosened the soil around the vines, preventing them from developing a stable root system.    

Proverbial symbols of destroyers, the little foxes in this passage seem to symbolize the small problems that gnaw at the root of their love.   

Tirzah sees the problem first and asks Solomon to "catch them," or help work out the problems that threaten to hinder their love.

God wired men and women differently.  It's almost as if he installed in women an internal alarm that goes off whenever problems threaten a relationship.  Beep. Beep. Beep.  Tirzah's alarm sounds and she tells her husband, "We've got problems.  Can't you see those little foxes?  They are going to ruin everything for us.  Do something about this."  

Solomon, normally a sensitive husband, gives no indication that he sees the foxes.  He does not hear an alarm, so he feels no urgency.  Tirzah and Solomon remind us of many couples we know.

What are your little foxes?