Separated With an Irresponsible Spouse
 by Dr. Gary Chapman

Separation is not the time for one spouse to walk on the other. True love does not give license to an irresponsible spouse.  Such a spouse needs to be held accountable.   

This may mean that you will need the help of a counselor, pastor, or a Christian attorney.   

Don't hesitate the reach out for help.  These professionals deal with people in your situation all the time.  They'll  be able to answer many of your questions.

This week, we have emphasized working on reconciliation.  It is essential that you maintain a positive attitude, not allowing your emotions to control your thinking and behavior.  Don't accept sinful behavior from your spouse, and make sure that your actions are not sinful.  If you are aware of sin in your life, confess it to God and accept His forgiveness and power to turn from your sin.   

Treat each other with dignity and respect when you are together.  In so doing you are choosing the high road of seeking reconciliation.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, Hope for the Separated by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.  
 

Often in marriages, the wall of trust must be rebuilt.  The process Nehemiah followed to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem is a good pattern for rebuilding trust in your marriage. This week we have discussed Step #1: Week and Seek God and Step #2: Pray and Step #3: Communicate Your Needs Honestly  and Step #4: Commit to the Journey. 

Step #5:  Evaluate the Damage 

Arriving in Jerusalem, Nehemiah set out to survey the damage done to the wall.  The rubble was so great that he couldn't even ride his horse through it.  He must have been overwhelmed.

In order to close the loop of conflict and rebuild trust, you need to evaluate the damage in your relationship.  Admit your failures, acknowledge your offenses, talk about your hurts.  Lay it all out there.  You can't effectively rebuild and heal if you don't bring all the hurt and anger into the open.

Because of time, we cannot share the final steps in great detail, but here they are:

Step #6 Formulate a Plan

Step #7 Begin the Work

Step #8 Trust God Through the Inevitable Resistance

Step #9 Work Toward Completion