"I've Found Someone New!"
 by Dr. Gary Chapman

So, you have fallen in love with someone else and have left your spouse.  What now?   

I am sympathetic with the struggle and pain of losing the warm emotional feelings for your mate and falling in love with someone else.  But, you cannot afford to yield to these "in love" emotions.  All of life is at stake.  To follow one's emotions is the surest road to loneliness and ruin.

More than 60% of those who marry new lovers will eventually divorce again.   

Your best interests are served by returning to your spouse, resolving your conflicts, learning to love, and rediscovering your dreams. 

The first step is admitting that what you have done is wrong.  Confess that to God, ask for His power to help you turn from your sinful behavior.  Then go to your spouse and seek reconciliation.   

This will not happen with a simple apology.  It will take time to work through the issues that led to the separation, but you are headed in the right direction.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on the book, Hope for the Separated by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.  For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.  
 

Often in marriages, the wall of trust must be rebuilt.  The process Nehemiah followed to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem is a good pattern for rebuilding trust in your marriage. This week we have discussed Step #1: Week and Seek God and Step #2: Pray. 

Step #3:  Communicate Your Needs Honestly 

One day, King Artaxerxes noticed that Nehemiah was not himself.  The king said, "Why are you so sad?  You aren't sick, are you?  You look like a man with deep troubles" (Nehemiah 2:2).   

God had opened an opportunity for Nehemiah to explain his feelings about the destruction in his homeland, so he told Artaxerxes the sad story.

When the king asked Nehemiah what he wanted to do, Nehemiah didn't just spit out his request.  He prayed first, and then asked for the opportunity to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall.  The king asked how much time he needed.  Nehemiah not only gave him a time frame for completing the task but also asked the king for some materials for the rebuilding project.  Artaxerxes gave Nehemiah everything he asked for.

Why did this powerful king grant Nehemiah's request?  Nehemiah explains, "The king granted these reuqests, because the gracious hand of God was upon me" (Neh. 2:8).  The rebuilding process works when God is at the center.  

Openness about your hurts and needs is a prerequisite for rebuilding trust.