The following journal excerpt is from a time when God kept leading me to be merciful to a person who was difficult to deal with and hadn't been treating me well at all. When I was ready to give up on the person God kept sending me messages to be gracious. I also kept seeing the number 5 connected to the person, which means favor and grace.
Journal Excerpt January 2005
9:13pm
I'm at home now. I'm determined not to get mad at [the person]. The worse he acts the more I'll pray for him.
10:20pm
I was mad for a while but I kept telling myself fight the spirit not the person. I imagined the conversation we might have... I don't ever want to come off as judgmental and rejecting. I want him to know Jesus is real and his love is unconditional and everlasting... Help me to be more like You. I want to be open and loving without compromising what's right.
Next day
To top things off Charles Stanley is on right now saying we should love people regardless of what they do because love never fails. He said people have free will and even if they never do what we want we win if we love. He said sometimes you can't talk to the person and you have to talk to God about the person.
I feel God couldn't be any clearer if He called me on the phone. Stanley also said pray for the person to get their focus on God. Take the focus off yourself and focus on what God wants to do in their life. God can use us to deal with people we can't deal with any other way but to talk to Him about them. A person cannot win the battle with a person who loves them no matter what, and who prays for them and who doesn't fight back.
If you pray for them and love them no matter what and your response to them is a godly response, ultimately you win. Don't focus on them, focus on God. Encourage them, compliment them and examine yourself.
Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord. Thank You.
So maybe [this person] deserves punishment but I'm going to show him mercy not justice. I'll be nice whether he deserves it or not. When he gets difficult instead of getting frustrated that I can't talk to him, I'll talk to God about him. In my prayer for [this person] I tend to shy away from praying for God to use me to help him. I try to focus more on God using someone else. But he is my assignment. And completing my assignment will not only help [this person] but perfect me.
Lord help me to love the hell out of [this person]. Let my responses to him be godly and pleasing to You.
