So often it's easy to get caught up in feeling like we have to perform for God. We try to do things so we can hear "Well done servant" but let's not forget we are more than servants, we are Sons. God is our Father and His love is unconditional. We can't earn it and we can't lose it. Last week I shared some of my journal entries about the movie Mulan; here's another I'd like to share.

Journal Entry Fri 1/16/09

I feel like I'm getting better and better. I still make mistakes and I still waste time but I think my perspective is better. Before I said my ministry was getting in the way of my relationship with God. My dreams and unfulfilled promises were also getting in the way. So I let it all go. I don't want to meet with the one who didn't keep His promises to me or whom is denying me what I want; nor the one whom I have let down by not fulfilling my destiny. That's just a whole lot of stress, hurt and frustration. I want to meet with the God who loves me unconditionally; no matter what. I want to spend time with the One who serenades me with beautiful love songs and brings me little gifts like pears and restores to me lost gloves. I want to be with my Goddy, and not worry about the future. I'm sure that's what He wants too.

And the best part is I know I will get what I want more than anything - to be in heaven with Jesus. My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. I'm still hoping for the hug too. I think about Mulan and how it used to touch me so deeply when everyone bowed to Mulan. She'd been rejected and ridiculed by them so her moment of vindication was so powerful it made me want to cry. But later I graduated to the point where what touches me most deeply is when she's in the garden with her father. She's finally come back home and presents him with these amazing gifts to show that she's finally brought honor to the family. She went from being a misfit girl who couldn't get a husband to a warrior who saved all of China. Her father laid those gifts aside and embraced her, just happy to have her as a daughter. His daughter had come home and he was happy. It was more than "Well done, good and faithful servant." It was "I love you my precious child." So beautiful... That's what I'm looking forward to; not China bowing down to me but being enfolded in the arms of my Father.